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Are you and your partner locked in a constant battle of your needs versus his? If the answer is yes, you may want to change your perspective. Couples can often get deeper and deeper into the cycle of conflict and resentment the longer they're together — you're familiar with each other's trigger points, and your fuses get a whole lot shorter when you "know" what's coming during an argument. But learning how to empathize with each other can help spring you and your partner from a relationship gridlock.

Empathy is the act of putting yourself in another's shoes — getting outside of your own feelings and inside his. (Can you already see how doing this could change things?) Both of you will be able to look at a conflict from a whole new angle, and each will have a better chance of understanding where the other is coming from.

Here's how you can make empathy a part of your relationship:

• When you hit that familiar feeling of anger or disappointment with your partner and you feel that storm brewing, stop and look at him. You don't have to say anything, just stop and gaze at your partner objectively. Think of him almost as a stranger, as though nothing has come before this moment.
• Try to see this conflict from his eyes. Reexamine his behavior as though it makes total sense. Understand that what he wants feels right to him. Is he yelling at you because he feels sad, and anger is a more comfortable way of showing it? Is he withdrawing because he feels that nothing he says will be right? Think from his mind, and you might discover the source of your dispute.
• Use a different approach for communicating with your partner. Reaching out to him in a new way may help to spur the change you're looking for.

Article by Dr. Laura Berman from The Passion Files