Here's what Britni, a newlywed herself, said after receiving her copy of "Our First Year" ~

"I received the Our First Year Cookbook as a gift from my mom and absolutely LOVE it! My husband and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary in May and this is the perfect cookbook for newlyweds, couples or young adults. I especially love all of the little tidbits of information inside such as party planning ideas, cooking tips and gift ideas."

Written by Jaclyn Douma who married her husband, Jeff, in September, 2007. Awwww....look how cute they are!! Jaclyn chronicles her life as a newlywed learning to cook for two at Sugar N Spice Life.

♥Here's how you can win your FREE copy♥

Leave a comment (if you are not registered on SheJustGotMarried then include your email address)

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DO ALL for a total of THREE (3) entries!

♥Good Luck♥

*Drawing will be on August 5th*

My husband had managed to turn routine into romance! Normal into notable! And the everyday into exciting!

All it took was a few minutes, some post-it notes, and a whole lot of thoughtfulness. In different places around the house he had placed little love notes for me to find!

I opened my computer soon after I got home and smiled,  

                I LOVE YOU... you alone.

As I was putting groceries in the cupboard, I saw this one hanging up,

                Thank you for being the BEST wife in the world!

Later, I went to finish the laundry and on top of the washing machine I read,

                Thank you for taking care of me!

I thought to myself, "It's really all worth it!" You see, even after a year of marriage, the fluttery feelings about being a wife are already waning. All too often I feel like I am lacking a worthy purpose in my life. Cleaning the house, washing the clothes, and taking care of my husband hardly seem like important jobs, they are more monotonous than momentous.

But this,

THIS

Little act of love and appreciation spoke a thousand words straight into my heart.

After I had found three of the post-it notes he had written, I went to my husband and excitedly asked, "Is there more?!"

With a sparkle in his eye, he replied, "There is more, but you have to find them."

About an hour later I found one stuck to the bathroom mirror,

I love looking into your beautiful face every morning.

 That was all I needed to make me run downstairs and give him a huge hug. He left for the gym soon after that, and as he left he announced, "Now, there is just one more!"

I love surprises so much that I can't keep them a surprise for very long- I had to find the last note! Immediately, I knew where he might have hidden the last one. I ran upstairs to the bed, peeled back the covers, and there on the pillow was the last post-it note love letter! This one made my heart stop. I think I probably blushed too.

But I will leave it to your wild imagination to figure out what he had written there ;)

I recap this story, to remind us all that the seemingly trivial acts of love are actually vital to maintaining a healthy marriage. Something like sticking post-it notes around the house seems simple and effortless. But that's exactly what I am learning! Romance does not always have to include a five course meal at an extravagant restaurant, or a three day trip to the Bahamas. In fact, after one year of marriage I am realizing the significance of the little things.

Hugging during the day. Long kisses in the morning. Going for a walk.

Buying his favorite candy bar. Writing "I love you" on the mirror with lipstick.

Making him breakfast. Calling him to just to let him know you miss him.

Writing him romantic text messages. Giving him a back massage.  

Hiding plain yellow post-it love notes all around the house.

The possibilities are endless! Demonstrating love to our husbands does need a special occasion; it just starts with a little thought!  Even our husband needs regular reminders that he is appreciated, loved, and noticed for who he is and what he does.

Romantic moments don't need to wait for Valentine's Day! Squeeze in loving acts wherever you can throughout each day! You might be amazed at much joy and fun it brings to the both of you. And not to mention what it leads to at the end of a long day ;)

What simple ways do you surprise your husband?

Or do you need some fresh ideas?!

With their new line of bridal necklaces, I am so convinced these women are onto something! Check them out here .... http://www.bashfulbliss.com/Bride_Necklaces.html

The best part is, they can customize any necklace with your name, monograms for bridesmaid and flower girl gifts, and your wedding colors. What a fun way to proudly share that you are the bride, bridesmaid, or MOH? ...and the best part, they are so affordable!

Here are some of their bridal necklaces:  (...and be sure to check them out at bashfulbliss.com for more fun designs!)

Since our blog is a Community Blog the posts are written by several different women so we had to bend some of the rules and quite frankly, that made it even that much more fun.  So here we go!!!

♥Your first post:  Jan 6, 2009 - we were just learning what blogging was all about and....how much fun a FLIP CAM could be!  This was from one of the first Wedding Shows we ever participated in. It was titled "Pick Out A White Dress....Baby Just Say YES" .

♥A post you enjoyed writing the most - Why Sex is Like Cooking. This one was written by Sandy Philpott whose Blog Title is"An Older Bride". The comparisons are brilliant but the coolest thing about this post is that while it was floating around in cyber-space it ended up in the hands of someone who translated it in Iranian and posted it on a website called Balatarin, which describes itself as "the most popular web 2.0 website written in Persian.  Balatarin helps its users to find the best links on the Internet that interest Iranians around the world. "

♥A post which had a great discussion - The Real Breakfast of Champions. I don't want to spoil the story but Charissa Steyn, whose Blog Title is "The Messy Business of Romance", is not talking about cereal!  

  ♥A post on someone else's blog that you wish you'd written - Why I Don't Initiate Sex with My Wife More Often . Ok, so I don't really wish I'd written this one myself but I wish newlywed women knew this information from the beginning of their marriages. We always want to know what our husbands are thinking and guess what? Stu Gray of The Marry Blogger lets us all know and...you might be surprised to find out it's not so easy.

♥Your most helpful post -Ten Ways To Beat The Post Wedding Blues was written by Kirsten from Southern California who goes by the name "Newlywed on the Beach".  After all the hours, money, and passion you'd put into planning your wedding what do you do if you feel a little....well, let down? Her answers are fabulous!

♥A post with a title that you are proud of "The Secret to a Great marriage? Great Socks!" Come on...you gotta admit it's a nice use of double entendre!

♥A post that you wish more people had read - Complaints Into Compliments. Inspired (maybe more like disgusted) by watching a short lived show called "The Marriage Ref" "Mimi", who writes under the title "Love Lessons Learned.....More or Less", points out, what should be, the obvious but obviously....is not!

So what do you think? I, personally, had FUN looking back and taking a stroll down memory lane and I hope you did too!

Unfortunately, after nearly one year of marriage I have had to learn the truth of this statement the hard way. I have spent hours and days letting my emotions control me and my reactions towards my husband.  

As I think back over the past year of marriage my mind fills with images of ruined dates, and the grudges I held against my husband while on long grueling car rides. I remember the nights we went to bed sleeping as far away from each other as we could get in our little double bed. I reflect on the moments of immaturity when I stomped out of rooms on him or refused to hug him for a whole day.

All of these moments are painful, shameful, and not to mention, just plain miserable!  I am held captive by my wounded heart. Life stops. I refuse to move on until I feel like my husband has been adequately punished for the way he has treated me.

In these moments I always think he is the one suffering. Wrong!  My grudges, unforgiving heart, and anger only make me suffer! I am sure you know the feeling?

We think we can go on with life, work, and our relationships, but if things are not right with hubby, let's just be honest, everything is tainted! Our thoughts are consumed with anger. Our eyes are red from crying. The worry creases across our foreheads are more evident. Life seems to come to a standstill. It doesn't make us beautiful, nor is it fun to let our emotions get the best of us.

Thus the reason I have adopted my new marriage motto, "It's just easier to be happy!" 

Marriage provides 24/7 opportunities for us to put this little statement to the test! Take for instance this morning...

After we were done eating breakfast, my husband looked at me with a suspicious gaze. He pulled my face close to his, and instead of coming in for a kiss, he inspected my teeth!  Appalled, he explained I had food stuck between every crack and crevice of my pearly whites. I couldn't believe it! I shrugged it off as no big deal, knowing that I was about to go brush my teeth anyways, but deep down I felt hurt. {Yep, it's really that easy to feel hurt in marriage!}

As I marched up the stairs to check out the situation, I felt slightly embarrassed that I had disgusted my husband.  I smiled in the mirror and saw exactly what he was talking about, it was true. After a thorough brush and floss, my teeth had gained back their glimmering glow. It felt good to be clean. But even more important, it felt good to be happy!

My husband's honesty could have provoked me to anger and frustration. {It nearly did!} I could have held onto his remark and let it fester into a lie that he is a mean and unloving husband. {Even though I regularly tell him about the crumbs in the corner of his mouth or his bad breath.}  But instead, I saw through his disgust to his heart. I was thankful that he loved me enough to tell me the truth.

My march to the mirror, revealed the truth, just like marriage reveals what's really in my heart. We are forced to come face to face with the reality- who are we and where is the plaque in our lives?

When I see ugly plaque staring back at me in the mirror, I don't just leave it there. I do something about it! With a smile on my face I go to work taking out the buildup of food and who knows what else!

However in marriage, I most often have been known to do just the opposite. I get angry about what I see, I don't smile, and meanwhile I let hurts and frustrations build up inside of me.

Being married gives us daily opportunities to become a better person. But in order for that to happen we must put a smile on our face. We must march up to that mirror and...

choose joy.

Everything from insignificant disagreements to a full-on war can be seen as an opportunity to grow into the wife we are called to be. But it only happens when we make a decision to not let our emotions get the last word.

Choosing joy in our marriage means that we realize it's easier to be happier. The sun shines a little brighter. We feel a little prettier. Our husbands seem a little bit sweeter.

So next time your marriage brings up some plaque in your life. Take it as an opportunity to become a more beautiful wife. With a smile on your face, choose joy. Life is just easier that way anyways!

Just Married Signs Only will create a one of a kind sign especially for you using your wedding colors, theme and photos to create a gorgeous sign that only you will have.  ♥

But you can WIN your very own!!

Leave a comment ....Ta Da....you are entered to win!! Drawing will be next Wednesday, July 28th.

Want MORE chances to win?

*one extra entry - post this giveaway on Twitter ...include your Twitter name in the comment

or

*one extra entry - post this giveaway on your Blog....include your blog post in the comment

or

DO BOTH for a total of THREE (3) entries!

♥Good Luck♥

Are you a night owl married to an early bird? Maybe you're the one up with the sun while your husband's habits are decidedly nocturnal. Different bedroom schedules can rob you of important quality time together. Going to bed at the same time allows you to connect in more ways than one - you get in sync physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and gain valuable cuddling time at the beginning and end of the day.

There are always going to be days - even weeks - when life goes by so fast you feel like roommates, not lovers. When you make a shared bedtime an essential part of your daily ritual, you ensure that you and your partner have some time each day to rekindle your passion for each other.

Really make an effort to turn in together, as hard as it may sound. It's one of the best choices you can make for a good night's sleep and gives you and your partner a moment for each other. Make a point to snuggle when you first get into bed. Connect, touch, and talk. After a little while, if one person wants to go to sleep, the other can read, write in a journal, or quietly listen to music with headphones. Eye masks and reading lights make it easy to avoid disturbing the other person.

Strengthen and maintain the bond between you by hitting the sheets together, each and every night. Sweet dreams!

*Repost - original article by Dr. Laura Berman*

source - Janet is Hungry Blog

Bacon and Cream Cheese Roll-Ups

1/2 loaf white sandwich bread (square slices are best)
1 8oz package of cream cheese, softened
1 clove garlic minced
1 tsp italian seasoning blend
1 tsp dried parsley flakes
1/8 tsp pepper
1 lb bacon

1. Mix together the cream cheese, garlic, seasoning, parsley and pepper until well blended.

2. Cut the bacon slices in half.

3. Cut the crusts off the bread, and spread each slice evenly with cream cheese (I use about a heaping tablespoon per slice, then cut each slice of bread into 3 strips.

4. Roll up each strip of bread and wrap with 1/2 slice of bacon. Secure with a toothpick. I usually just keep going until I run out of bacon. This usually takes about 1/2 a loaf the bread and most of the cream cheese mixture. If you have leftover cream cheese, it is great spread on crackers or toasted bagels.

5. At this point, you can go ahead and bake them, or you can stash them in the fridge or the freezer to bake later (if baking from frozen, add about 5-10 minutes to your cooking time).

6. Bake at 375F for 15-20 minutes until the bacon is crisp. Drain on paper towels for about 5 minutes to cool a bit, and serve.

These beautiful Bridal Portraits of newlywed, Britain Paulk, were taken by photographer and friend, Taylor Hood. 

♥This one is her hubby's favorite!♥

Charlie joined her in scanning the restaurant and saw couples texting or emailing someone besides their dinner partner.  One man was engrossed in a newspaper while his companion nervously inspected her napkin.  One couple had each brought a book and were reading while they ate.

My cousin lamented, “It’s like they aren’t even together!  I don’t want us to be like that.”

“What do you want us to do?”  Charlie asked.
“Let’s talk,” she suggested.
“About what?”
“Anything!  Even if we have to pretend we’re having a conversation!”
“Well, blah, blah, blah,” Charlie offered, with a grin.
“And blah, blah, blah, to you,” she answered, giggling.
“She-baba, she-baba, she-baba.”  Charlie was clearly getting into the game.
“Polly-wolly doodle all the day,” she countered, unable to stifle her laughter.
That conversation continued like that until they both had tears streaming, breathless from laughing so hard.

By that time, people around them had noticed their laughter and their obvious enjoyment of each other’s company and soon those people began talking about them and laughing themselves.  That encouragement only spurred my cousin and her husband in their infectious silliness until people all over the restaurant were talking and laughing together.

I died laughing myself, just hearing that story.  And I do sooooo agree with my cousin...I never want to sit at a table with my man and ignore each other as if we were actually alone.

So, look around you the next time you and your honey are out at a restaurant. You’ll notice those couples who are calling or texting someone else, or who just don’t seem to have anything to say to each other, or who are simply “alone together.”   Don’t let that be you.  Remember this funny true story when you and your sweetie go out to a restaurant.  For the short tome you’re dining out together, give each other your undivided attention.  Laugh together, share bites of food, and by all means, talk together!

I love to hear stories of how couples met. Back in 'the good ol' days' no one met over the internet because, well....it didn't exist! It was so interesting to learn how my parents met and even my grandparents!

But here's one for ya (try to keep up with the twists and turns).....

A friend of mine 'met' his girlfriend because his mom was Facebook friends with her first. But the story is even more interesting because his mom didn't really know this girl personally. They met through a mutual friend....on Facebook! So really...they were just Facebook Friends.

Are you following this?

SO...the mom says to her son (who just happened to be in town over Christmas visiting his mom)...."you should friend this girl on Facebook...she is so funny!"

Now the truth is....the mom was NOT trying to set them up. Her son lived in NY and her Facebook friend lived in Atlanta (where the mom lived). So son and girl become Facebook friends and....well, the rest, as we say, is history. The son moved back to Atlanta and and the two have been dating now for 6 months. ♥

So....how did you and your guy meet?

He wakes me up from my nap 45 minutes later, not half hour like I said, but what drove me more insane is the way he woke me up. 

He just bought an iPad.  Well, there are a lot of "fun" apps available for the iPad, one of them being the Vuvuzela app.  In case you don't know, a vuvuzela is a stadium horn.  These are mainly used for soccer games so if you caught glimpses of the world cup, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  They are SUPER DUPER annoying.  

Example:

Well, the marketing people who work for Apple applications department thought it would be awesome to have an app for the iPad where the picture of a vuvuzela is in the middle and everytime you press it, it makes the annoying buzzing sound. 

Well, the hubs thought it would be fun to wake me up using his little nifty vuvuzela app. 

It is NOT fun waking up to that  horn noise after taking a nice relaxing nap!!!  So, now I have to get him back when he's sleeping.  I'll let you know if I win that battle!

Nope...that's not a misspelled word. Invitastions™ are the are the yummy off-spring of stationery designer Erin Nowak and Jen Comfort. Sweet Talk Boutique...your home for edible invitations! ♥

Jennifer Comfort, owner and sugar artist at She Takes The Cake, introduced the fabulous idea of an edible invitation to Erin Nowak and it was immediately that the Invitastion was born! Jen is your baker; bringing the edible aspect to this exciting new way to get the word out to your guests.

Erin Nowak, owner and graphic artist extraordinaire of Bride Design, designs the stunning invites that these cookies deliver to your guests. It is Erin's attention to detail, amazing illustrations and bubbly enthusiasm that provide the perfect touch to the Invitastions. She is the paper and pen to Jen's butter and sugar.

♥A printed cardstock version of the invite or greeting is ALWAYS included with every single Invitastion^TM. So go ahead... eat the cookie, keep the sentiment!!♥

It may seem like a goofy thing to do, but it really forces me to focus on why I love him, what I appreciate about him, and what makes our relationship special. When I’m making a list like the ones listed above, I really concentrate on that particular aspect of our relationship and think about what makes it (and us) unique. It makes me happy because I’m thinking about all the positives in our relationship, and it makes him happy because he sees all the positives I see in our relationship. It may be kind of goofy, but it’s positive and uplifting.

And I think in many ways, the fact that it’s kind of goofy makes it even more special. If I loved or trusted H any less than I do, I’d be concerned that he would think my lists were dumb. But I know he loves me, and the way I think, and because of that he loves and appreciates my lists – and he would never think they’re dumb, because they’re from my heart.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think there’s a list I need to finish writing.

There has been so much going on these past few months and it's just insane.  Work had me travelling so much then personal time was being taken away because of work.  Stupid work!  I wish I didn't have to work at all because it gets in the way of super important things like blogging and watching my TV shows!

So, I'm back to blogging about my crazy life that I live with the hubs.  Remember him?  He talks in his sleep. He farts and traps me under the sheets so I can't get away.  Yeah that guy!  Does he sound familiar to you?  Don't lie to me, I'm sure he does!  You probably have a hubs too that does the same thing.  It's ok to be honest.  I won't tell him, I promise!

So, yeah I'm back and glad to start bringing you some ridiculous stories about being a "married girl."  There should have been a book entitled "Married life isn't all it's cracked up to be so make sure you blog about it so you can keep yourself sane."  

Let's start this off with letting you all know that despite the hubs annoying habits, I do LOVE him very dearly.  He is annoying and lovable.  How that happens I have no idea but it actually somehow works. 

So, are you ready to get the giggles??????  Because you might just pee in your pants with the stuff that happens to me as a wife.  

Make sure you wear Depends because it would be embarrassing for you if you are sitting at your computer and you pee'd your pants because you were reading one of my crazy funny posts about how I farted like a maniac the other night (I had mucho gas and it needed to come out of my belly!) and the hubs actually seemed a bit disgusted.  Ha!  To me, it was payback for all his nuclear farts I have to endure.  Husbands. Can't live with them and can't live without them.  Go fig!

Comments are always welcomed!  I will gladly laugh with you or at myself from my stories. 

Couples planning to be married can bid for wedding-related auction items online starting in October or at a Blissful Wishes Balls Nationwide in November, with all proceeds benefiting  Wish Upon a Wedding .This new organization is the world's first nonprofit that provides weddings for individuals facing life-threatening illness.

Wish Upon a Wedding is currently seeking donated products or services in 46 cities, ranging from wedding gowns to tuxedos, invitations to cakes, and limousine services to honeymoons. It only takes a moment to register and make a difference in someone's life at  https://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/AuctionHome.action?auctionId=115386483

Be sure to add your item to the correct category (city), and don't forget to include your company logo and URL.  What a great advertising opportunity~ and you'll be making a positive difference in someone's life who truly deserves it!

"I traditionally forget, and she traditionally gets mad. I traditionally buy her something expensive to make up for it, and she traditionally tells me that I'm not completely off the hook, but accepts the gift anyway. Then she traditionally reminds me of it every chance she gets...lol"

I love this response!  I know I am this girl in our marriage sometimes, and apparently I am in good company!  So, outside of this tradition if my sweet hubby fails to remember our first anniversary, what are some other fun things we could incorporate into our celebration?

These were the words that Laura Munson's husband told her after 20 years of marriage. Her reaction?

"His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, "I don't buy it." Because I didn't."

source

I quickly Googled her name and found this interview with her on Good Morning America. I had to pause the interview and listen again to a phrase she mentioned...."Guardians of each other's solitude".

The quote is from poet, Rainer Maria Rilke:

"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."

The "She Just Got Married" blog is called "Discovering YOU After 'I Do'" for a reason. You can only honor and love another if you know, honor and love who you are first.

Laura shares these words: Be clear about who you are as an individual — and aware of your needs within the union. There is a road map of "us," but it's only as good as the road map of "me."

You can read her entire article in the NY Times.

"If It's Not Fun (at Least Most of the Time), You're Not Doing It Right." This applies to a lot of things in life, but at the moment I'm thinking about it in terms of both relationships and wedding planning. 

A wedding has two parts, the religious or legal rite (ceremony) and the celebration (reception). Planning a religious rite is serious and solemn, but that doesn't mean it doesn't include plenty of joy. It is, in many ways, a celebration in and of itself: of our love for each other, of our commitment to each other, of the miracle of male- and female-ness, of the gift of marriage, of the family and friends who have impacted our lives and brought us to the point where we are ready to make a public commitment of love and fidelity to each other. Yes, that's heavy, solemn stuff, but seriously - how much more joyous can you get?? We're choosing the words we'll say when we promise to love and support each other for the rest of our lives, the music we'll hear as we first see each other as bride and groom, the wedding rings we'll exchange and wear forever. Solemn, but joyful!!

And the reception is basically a big party to celebrate and share our happiness and joy with family and friends! Sure, there are lots of details to think through, and it's a often major financial outlay, but it's a PARTY. Planning a party is fun! Or at least, it's supposed to be. If you're not having fun planning it, you've lost sight of the point. The point is to celebrate! Friends and family (those worth being called such, anyway) are not going to think less of you because you chose chicken cordon bleu instead of filet mignon. They're not going to leave in a huff because they were seated at Uncle Paul's table and not Uncle Joe's. And they're certainly not going to ask you to give back the lovely blender they gave you because your DJ played the Macarena and not the Chicken Dance. If the planning isn't fun, most likely the execution isn't going to be fun, either. 

And as for relationships, they are WORK - but who says that work can't be fun? Aren't the most satisfying accomplishments often the ones that took the most work? Last night, I ran a mile and a half at 4.5 miles per hour. It was more physical work than I've done in months, and it HURT and part of me wanted to quit the entire time, but WOW did I feel fabulous about myself when I finished! I let out a whoop that scared the cats, and the grin on my face lasted for about an hour. I wouldn't say that the workout was exactly "fun", but it was certainly satisfying, and I'm glad I did it, and I want to do it again. That's the kind of work that should go into a relationship. It's hard and sometimes it's frustrating and you're not always sure how it's going to come out in the end, but boy is it satisfying when you come through the work into a place where you can coast and catch your breath for a bit, and just enjoy feeling good about where you're at. And if you don't spend a lot of time feeling good, and enjoying where you are, and having FUN being in that relationship - there is something seriously wrong with that relationship. 

Nothing can be fun all the time - our brains would burn out! But if the fun, and the joyfulness, and the satisfaction part isn't what you're feeling the majority of the time, it's time to re-evaluate. So although I'm working harder than I ever have in my life, I'm keeping my wedding planning joyful, and my reception planning fun, and my relationship with H ULTIMATELY satisfying!!

And it could be yours!

This fun caddy from the wonderful people at Kirkland's can be used as a shower caddy on a getaway, or for crafting, cleaning, scrapbooking, picnic getaways...or whatever you'd like.

♥ What a great gift for a Bride-to-be!! ♥

Just leave a comment and you will be entered to win. Contest ends July 14th.

*Rules and legal info from Kirkland's.*

My birthday is Saturday. I absolutely love ♥ my birthday and everyone who has ever known me knows this. I don't try to hide the fact or be modest and humble. I expect a party and I am happy to host my own. Quite frankly, it makes me sad :-( that some people try to avoid the fact that they're another year older. It's really just the best reason ever to have any kind of fun you want!

My husband, however, grew up in a house where birthdays were just not as big of a deal as they were in my house.  So this whole seemingly never-ending celebration (truth be known.....I go around saying 'it's my birth-week' the day after the official day) came as a surprise to him.  I could see that this was a subject that we needed to discuss in depth and with full disclosure....a definite need to know.

And now? He's totally in the game - in fact, he really loves being a part of the fun. And when it's his birthday, I reciprocate!

My best friend's husband, who is a great guy, gave my friend a card for their first anniversary. It was a beautiful card but he didn't write anything personal....not even a signature.

He grew up in a house where his dad did the same thing.....he let the card do all the talking.

Instead of just letting this be a point of irritation, my best friend decided to tell him how she felt. She didn't get upset or attack but she told her husband how much she loved the card but that she would really love to read something he wrote as well.

He stood there holding the card and said "do you mean right now?"

She just smiled at him...and he went upstairs and wrote from his heart.

This year on her birthday he gave her two cards. He handed her the first one and said "I got you this card just because it's so pretty and it looked like something you'd really like."

 Then he handed her a second card. He didn't just sign it but he had written an entire page of words that were 'his'. ♥

You'd be surprised how much your husband really does want to know what you like. Don't assume that just because you're married now that he can read your mind or know all the little things that mean so much to you.  But if you are wise....and tell him out of love, he'll bend over backwards to be the man of your dreams.

If you think it's a 'need to know' subject, then he needs to know!

It was one of 'those' days...or maybe it's been one of those weeks. The days have kind of run together lately.

The point is....my husband and I are right in the middle of transition...one of life's little blessings. ♥

Ok - that sounded sarcastic...probably because it was.

It's these transition times - times of change - that give you the opportunity to grow and discover your relationship muscles. Blah blah blah. Can't we just go back to the way it was?

Guess what....you can't. 

I had held my emotions at bay as long as I could (not that my husband wasn't fully aware that there was a storm brewing).  Then one night this week I looked at him and just asked...'are you happy?'

There it was....the hurricane of emotions had come ashore.  Hurricanes are not like tornadoes which develop quickly and many times, hit when people are totally unaware. Hurricanes evolve slowly and grow stronger with each stage but you do have advance warning and can prepare.

I imagine my husband had been preparing.

Here are the stages of development for a hurricane:

1.       Disturbance

2.       (Tropical) Depression - has at least one isobar (Point of equal pressure)

3.       Storm - Sustained surface winds are becoming 'organized'

4.       All hell breaks loose

If you live in an area that is susceptible to hurricanes you learn very early to have a Survival Plan.

1.       Board up your house to keep the windows and doors from being blown in.

2.       Evacuate (if you can) - simply stated....move to higher ground

3.       Secure your most precious belongings

4.       Have an emergency kit available

As the winds of Hurricane ME blew all around I took shelter in my husband's calm.

I was in a safe place with him. We didn't 'evacuate' - leave the situation - but together we moved to an emotional 'higher ground'. We faced the storm and the potential danger together. He held me as I cried ...like the beating rain of a hurricane . I knew that this storm would pass and I, his most precious belonging, was secure.

As for the emergency kit....be sure it includes chocolate. Mine had cookies!

If you've ever been through a real hurricane (and I have) something  amazing happens once the hurricane has passed. The skies seem clearer than you've ever seen. It's incredible!

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Be prepared, hold on tight, move to higher ground....and soon, the sun will come out.

I was in a major cleaning mood today.  You know the kind of day when you take everything out of the bathroom cabinets only to reorganize them and put them back in?  I had the itch!  I stripped the bed first thing this morning to wash our sheets, deep cleaned the bathrooms, scrubbed the kitchen, did about four loads of laundry, swept the hardwoods and then got on my hands and knees to wipe them down, took out the recycle, paid a bunch of bills, clipped and organized coupons...you name it, I am pretty sure I did it today, or at least considered doing it!  I was on a roll, and being oh so efficient! 

I was itching to clean out our guest room/office closet.  It has been the dumping grounds from the day we moved in for anything from holiday decorations, clothing overflow, a filing cabinet, games, printer paper, etc.  We live in a condo in downtown Orlando, so space is limited, but the guest closet is huge -- thank goodness!  So, I was getting anxious to finally clean it out and get it organized!  I knew I couldn't lift some of the boxes or reach the upper shelves so I asked Todd for some help later this afternoon.  He was more than happy to help, but I had no idea what I was getting into!

We moved the majority of the bigger items out of the closet to help us have a "clean slate" of sorts.  As we were moving things back into the closet, and finding a home for them in which they were accessible and organized, Todd chimed in with his ideas.  "Why don't we put my golf clubs in the guest bathroom tub...[an eyebrow lift on my part I am sure!!]...we can close the shower curtain so you don't see them?" and "we could keep the vaccum in the guest bathroom".  I was in shock...not even sure how to respond.  My initial thoughts: 1) He underestimates my organizing abilities if he thinks I can't make this all work!! 2) My husband is way past his college days!  Maybe this is how he lived pre-marriage, but I am not about to put a vaccum and golf clubs in the guest bathroom when there is plenty of room in the closet! 3) What do we do when we have guests over?  Decorate the family room with our cleaning supplies and sports equipment?  Finally, Todd explained that he thought I was trying to clean out the closet, so it only seemed logical to him that as things become tighter in the closet, we could just put them other places....like the bathroom!  Needless to say, I am still confused!  Sometimes, I humor him and we do it his way, but no worries everything made it back into the closet this time!  This must be the same logic that helped Todd's bike find it's way to our family room at our old place!  It was certainly a conversation starter!

Things like this happen all the time at our house, and I just sit back and think "Wow!  How differently God made us!!"  It just makes me wonder...what things do you and your husband think very differently about? 

We moved into the city where my husband's brother and sister-in-law have lived for several years. Last year the four of us spent a two week vacation together which we had never done before. We, quite surprisingly, had a fantastic time. I mean, really....two weeks in a condo together could make or break a relationship. It was uncharted territory because, up until then, our time together had been somewhat limited due to distance. So...yeah for us! We get along fantastically! We'll live happily ever after in our new found hang-out-BFF-relationships.

But then....I started decorating this house.

I wanted to do something new and fun in the guest bathroom. Originally I was going with a calm blue and brown motif but then.....out of nowhere I saw this picture (below) that just lured me in. A total contrast to my original ideas. Suddenly, I was full swing into a sultry boudoir themed bathroom...red, black and white. It was going to be fantastic..and fun!!

One day my brother-in-law dropped over to see the progress we had made with the house. He walked in my new FUN bathroom and said "WHOA....it looks like a brothel". What's a brothel, you ask? A whore house!! Yeah....he just said my new work of art looked like a whore house!

I said ....."Thank you!"

A few weeks later I found what I considered to be the 'pièce de résistance' - or what Wikipedia calls "a highlight or showpiece thereby making the whole of the creation unique and special."

Definitely unique and special, wouldn't you say? And if that doesn't say "FUN"...what does?

At the Wish Upon a Wedding (Colorado) launch event last week I had the privilege of meeting just such a person....Christina Gressianu, internationally award-winning wedding photojournalist.

Yep...this is Christina!

"People enjoy being in front of my camera. My clients say I have a "happy" lens."

Bridal Portraits

Mt. Sopris in Carbondale, Colorado

(above) Fabulous shot from a "trash the dress' session!

...and yes....even the most tender moments..

Christina seems to sum up her life philosphy with these words....

I think everyday, everyone should do one little thing out of the ordinary. One little act that is simultaneously exciting and uncomfortable. That way, when big opportunities or big ideas present themselves, you'll be a pro at tuning out the fearful voice telling you to play it safe. You'll be able to recognize that little whisper saying "yes, do it." And you will listen. ♥

My dad had several co-workers who also loved to camp, so there were three families who spent two weeks at Pawtuckaway State Park in Raymond NH every summer. Back in those days, you couldn’t reserve a site ahead of time, so we’d get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning, hitch up our tent-trailer to our giant Plymouth Fury station wagon, and caravan north to wait in line at the gate in the hopes of getting three sites together, preferably on the water so we could launch our canoes right from the site. The moms would keep us kids occupied, often by taking us to the beach, while the dads set up the trailers and got things unpacked. We’d often pack picnic lunches and canoe out to one of the many islands in the lake where we’d find a big rock to perch on and eat. Most of the islands had wild blueberry bushes so the kids would wander around and pick a few as a snack. When we were a bit older, we’d bring our bikes (or, one memorable summer, skateboards!) and ride around the campground all afternoon.

But the best part was at night, when we’d cook dinner over the campfire and tell ghost stories, or hear about our parents’ childhood vacations, or sing silly songs. We’d toast marshmallows and make s’mores and occasionally boil water in a Styrofoam cup. One memorable night, one of the moms had her feet propped up on the edge of the fire pit and actually melted the soles of her sneakers! If it was cool or rainy, we’d spend the evenings inside one of the trailers, playing cribbage or word games by the light of the Coleman lantern.

In the morning, if it was still chilly, my dad would warm my socks over the lantern before I put them on. Then he’d make another fire in the fire pit and cook pancakes. Once one of the boys was watching him flip pancakes and jokingly warned him not to get one stuck to the tree. He went off for a morning fishing trip in the canoe and when he got back my dad had nailed a pancake to the tree.

I suspect that it’s stories like that as much as the actual camping that give camping vacations such an appeal to me. Camping brings back wonderful warm memories of my childhood. And I love creating memories like that with H. I wonder what kind of stories our son will have to tell about his childhood camping trips. Will he share my memories of feeding chipmunks the leftover toast crumbs from breakfast? Will he have a story like mine of a squirrel somehow getting into the car and eating an entire bag of M&Ms? Will he remember his father warning him not to touch the side of the tent when it’s raining and, like me, will he do it anyway and be fascinated by the beads of water streaming through the fabric?

Someday, I hope he might even sit by a campfire and tell his children the story of how his grandmother once opened her suitcase in the tent to find a newborn family of mice squeaking and wriggling amidst her unmentionables. After all, it’s stories like that one that make camping – and families – such great fun!

I've heard it said that men want sex in the morning, and ladies only want sex in June!

Fact or not, this little statement presents a challenge to me. As a newlywed I am wrapped up in wanting to please my husband in every way. I would never want to deny my man what he wants, even if it is at the crack of dawn... except for a few reasons :)

Maybe you can relate...

1)      Morning breath {his and mine combined leaves me    breathless!}

2)      I am still tired... Zzzzzs please..

3)      I am feeling little cranky!

4)      I'm hungry (little known fact- I get out of bed for one reason- I want to break my fast!)

5)      It's not a Saturday, which means I have lists waiting to be checked off today. I can't stay in bed any longer.

Excuses...excuses...I have found that most of mine just are not good enough! In only ten months of marriage, I have been guilty of using all these phrases at some point or another.  Although these are viable reasons that normally keep me from early morning loving- I know the truth. I need to learn how to skip the excuses and enjoy the intimacy!

Here are my discoveries:

1)      Think he's got bad breath?  Chances are your breath is just as stinky! A little morning odor won't hurt anyone. Or if you absolutely can't handle it, take 10 seconds for a little brush or swish. Do it together and then race back to bed.

2)      Still feeling groggy from going to bed too late the night before? There is no better way to feel energized and ready for the day than spending a little intimate time with your husband before your feet hit the floor. Some of my best morning jogs have been directly after some morning oh-la-la!

3)      Or perhaps you even feel a tad bit cranky from the last night's argument? Why not choose to forgive and forget? Let your husband know this by looking him in the eye and telling him what an amazing man he is and.... give him a little extra something before breakfast!

4)      Is your stomach growling for food like mine is every morning? No worries. Grab a quick snack in the kitchen and bring it back to bed. {hot chocolate or a glass of juice will curb the hunger for the moment} Then enjoy the main course ;-) 

5)      Are you a task-oriented, to-do list kind of woman? Put your lists and worries aside. Sex is one of the most productive ways to spend your morning. If it's a week day, practice the art of a quickie J Or... Set your alarm, not because you have to get up, but because you need to stay in bed a little longer!  You will not regret it!

Most of the times my excuses are not legitimate, but lame! Our man has a much greater desire for lovin' in the morning than we often realize.  Besides...waiting until June to have sex together is just pitiful.

From my experience, connecting with my husband in the beginning of the day makes the rest of my day a whole lot better!  Don't underestimate the power of intimate time with your hubby.  

Just like we feel cherished and adored during deep, heart-to-heart talks, our husbands feel loved when we are able to give ourselves physically- unashamed and unhindered.  

Let that alarm ring! Waking up a little earlier is worth it if it means more intimacy with our man.

Just in case the previous tips were not enough to get you going in the morning, think about these:

Sex burns 300 calories an hour!

It also inhibits production of the hormone cortisol, which means we will feel less stressed and more relaxed!

Now that sounds like the Breakfast for Champions!

I pray our marriages are filled with long nights and early mornings of refreshing couple time that happen more regularly than the month of June!

Story #1 was sent in by Andrea Hoffman.....

For our first anniversary I honored the tradition of giving paper by giving my husband tickets to the Dallas Cowboys game in Dallas. He's a zealous fan, but since we live in NJ, he rarely gets to see them play live. (So, I also gave him more paper in the form of plane tickets). He was totally surprised, and we had a great little getaway By the way... I "won" the tickets in an eBay auction because the game was sold out!!

Story #2 was sent in by Lee Guzofski

My wife & I have been married for almost 8 years now and have followed every single one of the traditional wedding anniversary gifts, normally through some creative interpretation of that gift.

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For our 1st (paper) we got each other tickets. She really wanted to see "Wicked"on Broadway so I got great seats for that, despite thinking her the furthest thing from a witch! But she got me good...

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"She got me surprise tickets to see Lou Rawls at the Blue Note. Great seats and normally you shudder when a band says, "Here's one from my new album..." but his new album was "Rawls Sings Sinatra." Not only incredible, but my wife leaned over, grabbed my arm, and said, "I guess I know what we're doing right after this".  And, true enough, we went right to a record store to buy that album. It's tough to properly comprehend how much these meant to each of us - Her love of Broadway & the theater and my love of music - but especially the crooners like Sinatra and soul like Lou Rawls.  Great stuff! And I wasn't going to let her so decisively "beat" me on gifts again! Got her very good on our 2nd anniversary, and totally crushed our 3^rd anniversary gift (not that it's a competition but... it's a good one to win!)"

Thanks to both of you for sharing these fun and yes...romantic stories of your paper anniversary gifts. ♥

This certainly made me immediately think of the bad stigma that came with the role of wife, at the time (and if we are completely honest we still fight it now).  You know, she was the "inept little-woman", the "woman driver" or the "over-spender" who need not be in charge of the important things like providing, budgeting, and decision-making.  It also clearly put the job of husband on a pedestal, as his needs were continually put before the wife.  In fact, it seems to be so extreme as to show the husband in a bad light also.  As if he is so "fragile" that he won't be able to handle day old dust, normal children, or the noise of the dryer.  While some of their thoughts on the dynamics of marriage seemed a little stone-aged at first, after some thought it seemed a little more realistic.  After all, women and men are wired differently, and we do think differently, excell at different things, and stress over opposite issues.  We need each other for different reasons, and equally contribute to our marriage, just in different ways.  And the more I thought about the absurdity of the above "pointers" for wives and how outdated and unrealistic they were, the more I realized that I could relate to some of them!  Not because I think that women are helpless and stupid and should be slaves to their husbands; I think quite the opposite!!  I realized I already do many of these things for my husband because, well, simply -- they make him happy, which in turn makes me feel empowered and appreciated. 

When we are making large decisions, Todd gives me the opportunity to weigh in, and give my input, but at the end of the day I let him make the final call -- and am more than happy the weight of the decision is not on my shoulders!  I consider it my "job" to make dinner since I am currently at home, but Todd is more than helpful and loves to man the grill.  We have a rule at our house, that if Todd  needs some time to digest something before we talk about it, he is entitled the time, but he honors that for me too.  And, while I think putting on makeup for the arrival of your husband is a little crazy, it does make me wonder - "What kind of message am I sending my husband when the only time I get dressed up and put on makeup is to leave the house?"  We don't follow the protocal of the fifties in a way that would earn us an "A", but we have unknowingly adapted it to work in our oh-so-different lifestyle.  The biggest adaptation being that we respect, care, and love each other differently, but equally!  We understand that marriage requires both of us putting in 100 percent, both of us conquering a problem, and both of us cherishing the other!

Maybe our generation no longer plays the traditional roles of the husband and little wifey, but I still think we can learn a lot from June Cleaver.  In a time when women are recieving more college degrees than men, show your husband you trust his decisions.  While both husband and wife work to provide in these economic times, let your husband know you appreciate how well he provides.  These little votes of confidence make all the difference -- just ask your beloved!  And while the above excerpt says to let your husband enjoy his night, feel relaxed, and enjoy a meal....he should, but so should you!  At the end of the day, I think we can all agree the goal is still the same:  Make home a place where your husband wants to be....with you!

If you aren't yet familiar with this wonderful organization let me share a bit about them with you.

Volunteers at the Colorado Launch

As the World’s first nonprofit wedding wish granting organization, Wish Upon a Wedding provides weddings at destinations across the United States for individuals facing life-threatening illness.  It is a chance for couples to enjoy a very special day, without any thoughts of existing health issues, while surrounded by their closest family and friends.

By celebrating the courage & spirit of these couples, Wish Upon a Wedding helps create lasting memories that will be cherished for years to come. It is our hope that others facing similar situations will find hope, strength, and the promise of eternal love.

Cupcake town by Pisa Cake

After a wonderful buffet of fabulous food at Baurs Ristorante we all gathered to watch this video of Rehanna + Christian - a beautiful couple who were the most recent recepients of Wish Upon a Wedding. Grab a tissue.....

WUW:: Rehanna + Christian from bliss productions on Vimeo.

For more information on how YOU can be a part of this life-changing organization click here.

Photo Source

If you've been a fan of American Idol for a while then you certainly remember the sweet little country girl, Kellie Pickler, who stole Simon's heart (well...we can only assume that's what happened when he called her a little 'minx').

News broke yesterday when Kellie shared with all her Twitter followers the message "Yes it's true....Can't wait to say "I DO".

So how did her fiancé, Kyle Jacobs, pop the question?

He meticulously planned the proposal, arranging a blanket, champagne and candles to be waiting as they strolled on the Florida beach. "Afterward, we just held each other and had the most beautiful prayer," Kyle says. "We had a little champagne and talked and laughed and cried."

Congratulations Kellie and Kyle!

I remember the night my hubby proposed - it was crazy and just so "us". Was your proposal romantic, funny, a true surprise??

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My father passed away several years ago. In the first few years after his death, Father's Day would come around and I would feel 'cheated'. I would celebrate with my husband's father (whom I love dearly) but, I still missed my own father.

Time has passed and I don't feel the sting of his absence as much. That's not to say I don't miss him...I do. But I find that I celebrate his life and our relationship as father and daughter in the everyday moments. I find myself carrying on so many of his characteristics and laughing at some of his great 'words of wisdom' (ahem...he was a funny, crazy guy... I'll just leave it at that). :-)

This year I saw several people post "Happy Father's Day" comments on Facebook . But one in particular caught my eye.

A sassy, fun event planner, The D-Tales, that I've connected with on Facebook and Twitter (follow her...she's great!) posed this question:  "I wonder what is the greatest lesson your father taught you?"

The answers were fabulous!

♥ He taught me that I could learn something valuable from everyone I met.

♥ If something breaks...always check the fuse box first! :-)

♥ My stepdad taught me how to be a dad.

♥ Earn every penny, never ask for a handout, hard work is paramount.

♥ My Dad taught me to stop and smell the roses! I dont do it nearly often enough but i do have a rose garden in honor so I can at least SEE the roses!!

♥ Any job worth doing, is worth doing well. Quality isn't expensive, it's priceless.

♥ My dad tought me how to be open and welcoming to all and not to judge a book by it's cover. He is not only a dad to me but to all of my friends. He is my idol and i hope someday I will be as great of a person as he is.

♥ My dad was saying don't sweat the small stuff LONG before the books came out to tell us that! He was always so patient ...wish I would have gotten some of that quality....instead I got his "silly" gene but I'll take that all day long he was ALWAYS Fun!!!!

♥ I'm loved for my successes and failures.

♥To love and respect the family we have here with us, those who have gone before us, and those who will be here after us.

I hope each of you were able to celebrate Father's Day with a special dad.  

What would you add as the greatest lesson you learned from your dad?

By Stu Gray of

The Marry Blogger

We had an adventurous wedding. Being married in New Orleans, Louisiana -- of course, all of our friends and family wanted to come enjoy our marriage celebration; After all, The Big Easy is a fun place to visit!

When you're planning a wedding in a city that you are not familiar with, you might want to check out more than the weather forecast! There were two things we didn't know about New Orleans in August... Boys and Bugs!

The first thing we didn't know is that New Orleans hosts 'Southern Decadence' - A week-end dedicated to "gay pride" in late summer -- so, as our friends and family ended up downtown in the French quarter for our rehearsal dinner, we knew something was amiss; Especially when we noticed several men in bright colored boas, and various states of undress.

Photo Source

 We didn't know until later that my friend, who officiated our wedding, and his wife, ventured out into the French quarter and got some memorable pictures of guys wearing leather chaps and nothing else! I have to say that those pictures are much more memorable than our wedding pictures.

The second thing we didn't know is that at the end of August the skies are full of love... Love Bugs, that is.

We were married in the Louisiana Castle, an hour north of New Orleans. It's a real castle nestled in the woods--truly a beautiful setting. As I was driving up toward the castle on Friday before our wedding, I noticed these little black bugs were everywhere. Several of them looked connected together -- two bugs, with their back sides attached, clumsily flying through the air.

Locals call them "Love Bugs".

On the weekend of our wedding, I didn't find them that loving. I found them rather disgusting. And that's the problem. You do find them everywhere. They get in and on, everything -- your hair, your clothes, your car -- you name it, Love Bugs were everywhere. Our friends and family got to enjoy the love bugs and all of the swatting and peeling them out of their hair during our wedding ceremony.

Ahh, Love. Sweet Love...Bugs.

Who knew that we'd have to deal with the Love Bug Season, and Southern Decadence Weekend!? We didn't! So, take it from me. If you are new to a city, make sure you know the crazy things that happen there around the time when you're planning your wedding!!

When Stu Gray isn't having nightmares about love bugs, or pink feather boas, he is writing about what makes Stupendous Marriages at TheMarryBlogger (so after your big day - make sure you check out his website!)

 ♥This article is from the free E-book "What I Wish I'd Known Before the Wedding".♥

I LOVE this one!

Sam wore red shoes!

They were married at Chapel on the Hill at Abilene Christian University.

♥ Congratulations Chris and Samantha ♥

Church going girls often "save" themselves for marriage. I recently read a study done in January 2010 by the Universities of Florida and Wisconsin called Religiosity and the Sexuality of Women: Sexual Behavior and Sexual Satisfaction Revisited. In the group of women studied, the average age of women to first have intercourse who attended church on a weekly basis was 20 years. In contrast, the average age of women who did not attend church was 18.3 years. If your sexual and marital goals are similar to mine, this makes a compelling argument for church attendance.

Hooray for church-going girls! But why do most church-going girls want to wait? What is the end goal? Why does God want us to wait?

I believe it is because He wants us to be closer to our husbands and more fully enjoy the benefits of love and sex. He wants to maximize our sexual freedom and pleasure and not limit us.

It seems we easily forget this and become frigid "good girls" who hang onto the notion that we must wait for sex. Breath my married BFF's, the wait is over. You're married now. Having sexual thoughts and feelings is being a good girl. Sex is one of the most powerful tools to improve your relationship, to bond it, and to share yourself exclusively with your husband. God-fearing women should know this. However, the study mentioned above concluded that non-church goers are more satisfied with their sex lives. Marital sexual satisfaction for non-church goers is 5.13 out of 6. Marital sexual satisfaction for church goers is 4.77. It seems to me that we are missing the point.

Are you sexually and emotionally satisfied in your marriage? Wouldn't you like to be more than merely satisfied? How do you reach Aphrodite status?

Read and learn about it in a comfortable environment, open dialogue with your hubby, and then, my favorite -- practice!

Whether you believe in God, Allah, or Conan O'Brien, we all want to be closer to our husbands. Here we go!

Love Everyday is on a blog tour! This week, it’s my turn to share with you the section I contributed called 'What is a Spiritual Relationship with Your Spouse?'. The e-book version offers 26 other great posts for you to enjoy.

 Last Week: In case you missed it, "Pour Love on Your Spouse" was posted by Lori Lowe at Life Gems 4 Marriage.

What you are about to read is only one piece of a 27-page collaborative e-book written to help you learn how to make your marriage extraordinary amidst the chaos of life.  After reading this post, be sure to download a complete copy of LOVE EVERYDAY absolutely free!

What is a Spiritual Relationship with your Spouse?

 "Going to church doesn't make you a spiritual person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

I love that saying, but what in the world does that have to do with marriage?

Why, thank you for asking!

What if we approached our marriage relationship the way many approach their spiritual relationship with God - with a 'check list' mentality that might look something like this:

1.     Attend Sunday School (check)

2.     Give money - minimum 10% mandatory (check)

3.     Wear the proper church attire (check)

4.     Carry a Bible (check)

5.     Say a prayer (check)

"There - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - DONE!  What a fine spiritual person I am."

Now, let's apply this to marriage:

1.     Wear my wedding ring (check)

2.     Don't cheat on my spouse (check)

3.     Say 'I love you' (check)

4.     Have sex on a 'regular' basis (check??)

5.     Keep the in-laws at bay (check)

We would all probably look at those lists and think...'that's absurd, no one would do that'. It seems almost silly because it's so obvious but sometimes we all need to step back from our daily routines and look at the obvious a little more closely - with intention and awareness as if each of these relationships are sacred....because, they are.

Wearing a wedding ring and following a 'to do' list doesn't constitute a meaningful marriage relationship any more than showing up at a building on a particular day (Sunday) and going through the rituals ensures you'll enjoy the richness of a spiritual relationship with  God.  In fact, it will pretty much guarantee just the opposite in both scenarios - resentment over time and an empty relationship based on obligation.

Thanks to constant media overload, most of us have probably heard of the many high-profile personalities who have left their marriages because they have found (as they publicly proclaim) their "true soul mate".  What do you think they mean by that? More often than not, it's because this new someone made them 'feel so good'.

So let's recap.... if I can't experience a spiritual relationship through my 'doing' and it isn't tied to my 'feeling good' then what is it? How can we connect to our partner on the deepest level...the spirit?

Knowing God, or your higher power, is so personal, so unique, that no one can define it. To some, it is experienced in silence...to others through song or dance. To one man or woman awareness comes through suffering and another through the gift of life. This is the un-nameable power of Love....of God...of the Universal Spirit that gives us life....individually and collectively.

This is the power of the deepest love...the unique spiritual connection that is beyond definition that allows a man and a woman to experience life beyond doing or feeling.  So when the body begins to weaken and youthful appearance fades but you still can't wait to 'spoon' each night....and when you kiss the cheek of the one with whom you shared this experience we call life before they close the lid on the coffin, you know that the love you share is never gone because spirit never dies. This is the essence a spiritual relationship.

Just as a relationship with God evolves through different forms of expression - noticing the beautiful details of the world around us in spite of perceived chaos, truly observing the infinite blessings we each have, stopping to say 'thank you', spending time together in prayer and meditation, or coming together with like-minded people to share our faith, a spiritual relationship with our spouse is formed the very same way...through intention, appreciation, awareness and communication. Pretty awesome!

But just so there's no confusion...this doesn't mean you shouldn't remember her birthday....or tell her she's pretty....or watch the Superbowl with him....or give him an extended back rub...or tell her you love her.....or surprise her with a trip to the beach...'I'm just sayin''...... ♥ ♥

Next week be sure to check out: "Grocery Shopping" by Chelle Stein of "It Might Be Love".

Kristen's name was drawn from 234 entries to win a "She Just Got Married" gift set that includes a tee shirt, hot pink panties and an ultra-soft hoodie in the Fashion Fling give-away! *Pictured below - as seen in Spa Sydell, Atlanta location.*

♥Thank you, Hil'Lesha of Fashion Fling for hosting this contest♥

At first sight the common characteristic for a Wedding in Argentina that is different from the ones in America is that the couple usually chooses "Handmade"- not so much for the love of the organic and natural but for a question of budget.  Everything is made with love and participation. All mass-produced items are much more expensive than the handcrafted products. The souvenirs or favors are handcrafted for the bride and friends and family. The parents of the bride usually pay for Wedding and the party, like the old times "dowry".

From the day that the couple decides to get married (there is usually no formal proposal but an agreement) family members as well as friends start to get involved in the event. Both the mothers of the bride and groom have a lot of participation. It is very traditional and typical in Argentine culture, and in the Latin culture in general, for the family (and not only the primary circle of family members but also cousins and aunts and some other distant family members as well) to participate in the ceremony or party bringing their own unique skills. The skilled friends come to help with the decorations and also to design the invitations, to play the music or to bake the cake!

The Wedding gown is custom made by a seamstress. It is less costly and it will be unique, for sure!  There are not bridal shops or specialty shoes. I remember that I had a collection of bridal magazines from the time I was of a very young age, and I had my dress chosen since that time. When the day came I took it to the seamstress with the fabric and all the trims. After that there are many try-ons to make sure everything will be perfect for the Big Day.

The floral decorations are put together most of the times for the couple with the help of family members. In my personal story I remember going the same Saturday of the Wedding at 3 am to the Flower Wholesaler in the center of Buenos Aires to purchase the flowers. It is very unusual to hire a florist. Everything from ribbons, to stones, pearls or supplies are purchased at wholesalers to save money or keep it under a budget.

Erythrina- the national flower of Argentina

The Church Ceremony it is very important and in most cases even more important than the Wedding party. Coming from a very religious tradition it is not impossible that a Ceremony is a very long service, sometimes even 2 hours long. However, in the ceremonies of the protestant denominations it is very similar as the ones on the American Culture. Many times the parents of both have participation giving their blessings or friends dedicate a song to the newlyweds. There aren't usually speeches from friends but there is always a good "brindis" - toast with sidra or champagne.

There are not bridesmaids but there are always flower girls or ring bearers or both.

Wedding celebrations are usually late at night. They start at 8 or 9 pm and end sometimes the following day in the morning many times having breakfast with churros (a popular pastry) and hot chocolate.
The menus often times include a cold dinner with "sandwiches de miga" which means very delicate sandwiches made with the inside part of the bread  (not bread crumbs)  filled with ham and cheese or many other combinations such as fine fish, eggs, blue cheese, prosciutto, etc. There is also a sweet table with cream bombs and chocolate mini cones, fosforitos  (matches ) made of a glazed pastry with ham and cheese, little empanadas, sometimes sweet and sometimes salty chips and lots of 'dulce de leche' filled cakes and pastries.

Sandwiches de miga

churros

Nowadays there is more of a fashion trend on themed weddings and often times the couple will rent an "Estancia" (a big farm) for Gaucho Weddings with popular and traditional festivities ; horse riding, guitar played songs, eating the well known and loved "asado"-  Argentinean barbeque.  Many times weddings are celebrated at the home of any of the parents or they rent a ball room (depending on the budget). The same situation happens with the car rental - it can be a limousine or a family member car.

"Asado" - Argentine Barbeque

The tradition and the law in Argentina bind the couple under a civil commitment before the Church Ceremony. This event takes place usually the day before the Wedding and it is celebrated in those antique buildings in the center of the cities making the event proper for photography and giving the situation a trademark of elegance and distinction. That is why many times there are a lot of people at the civil wedding. The "Registro Civil" buildings are structural and architecturally magnificent and were built during 1970's or before during a time when Argentina was one of the biggest countries and an era of wealth and splendor.

After this "civil agreement", the couple is showered in rice and they are considered married.  All the family goes to this civil event and the couple brings 2 witnesses that are always friends of both or friends of each other. The photos are taken at Public parks, amusement parks or famous places. Particularly important is the "Palermo Park" very well known for its "Rosedal". Right in the middle of Buenos Aires City, this park is filled with thousands of roses in every style and color. This is a Wedding favorite.

Jardin Japones in Palermo, Buenos Aires

Palermo Park

1)    Start reading into every little thing your husband is saying and doing on the way to the date. Aka: Get really over analytical and super sensitive {saying things like “Are you okay?”, “ What’s wrong?”, “You look like you don’t really want to be here…”}

2)    Continue to let your feelings dictate the evening. Feelings of frustration inside you should be blurted out in words, “Let’s just sit here!”, “Or what about this eating here!”

3)    Instead of letting hubby decide on the place to sit and eat you offer your suggestions in harsh tones and sighs of frustration while also rolling your eyes. {Just flat out emotional manipulation.}

4)    Act like a woMAN and decide that sitting outside in the cold is best {even though you are absolutely freezing!}, but at this point you are just wanting to “punish” him. 

5)    You have now succeeded in making the both of you feel miserable. {Congratulations!} You are angry because he is acting like he doesn’t want to be on a date with you, and he is angry because you are being so stinkin’ controlling and emotional.

6)    Continue to stare off into the abyss, and when he gently asks, “Are you mad at me?”   You huff and puff and reply, “No!”

7)    After telling him you are not mad at him, you then proceed to tell him all the reasons why he has failed and upset you that night. 

8)    When the waiter comes to take your order, in a less than pleasant voice you tell hubby, “You can decide.”

9)    After shivering husband has decided to order a hot chocolate you unashamedly show your disgust about the choice, in front of both husband and waiter. {You wanted a milk shake!}

10)    After he has repeatedly asked you if you want to take a sip of some hot chocolate you continue to reject his offers, your body language {folded arms, distant stare, blank face, no eye contact} screams, “It is time to go home!” The feelings have taken over, hopelessness sets in.

Congratulations! You have now successfully sabotaged a date in 10 minutes!

You and your man walked into the restaurant holding hands, but now you don’t even want to be near each other. Although the drive home is filled with silence, millions of words are being spoken.  Husband is baffled and confused at the mystery of how a perfect romantic evening could get spoiled so quickly.

You on the other hand, know exactly what happened. You detected early on that he did not want to be with you tonight. Your emotional side say that hubby would rather be out with other people, than relaxing with you on a Friday evening.  Believing the lie, you decide to sabotage the date from the get-go. 

Okay ladies, I know I am not the only one who has lost a date in 10 minutes with my husband!

Of course, this is usually not our first intention. We too, desire a romantic evening, including one hot chocolate and two straws, lots of laughter, long kisses, and the simplicity of just enjoying one another’s company.

{Hit Pause Button here.} Did you catch that word, “simplicity”?

Our complex womanly ways are often the culprit to countless sabotaged dates, and sadly, the end of many marriages.

Far too often, as women, we let our emotions dictate our attitudes and actions.

Instead of learning the art of “simplicity,” we listen to our over-analytical, super-sensitive side.  We become professionals in being emotional, bitter, and unforgiving, when we should be getting a PhD in the simple enjoyment of sipping hot cocoa in a café with our hubby.

The 10 minutes it took for me to lose a date with my hubby are representative of the times when I have obeyed my emotions instead of listening to my heart.  I hate watching myself sabotage a perfectly good night out!  Deep down I wish I could just get over it, move on, and most of all forgive myself and my husband. 

Simple right?
Wrong.

Like the rest of you, I am still learning how to be a wife.

Learning to forgive, instead of hold grudges.

Learning to enjoy my husband, instead of overanalyzing him.

Learning to be overcome with laughter, instead of overcome with anger.

Learning to listen to my heart, instead of my emotions.

Learning to keep things simple, rather than making them entirely too complex.

Romantic dates with our husbands will be destroyed in minutes when we put the focus on our complex selfish nature, rather than on the simple enjoyment and adoration of our handsome hubbies.

But don’t worry, if you complete a successful sabotage, like I did the other night, remember this- always forgive and kiss your husband goodnight!

Keep it simple!

Have you sabotaged more than a few dreamy moments with your love? Do you let your emotions control you way too often? 

As newlyweds, let’s learn to reveal our simple side, which is usually more beautiful than our overly complicated emotional side!

For either checked or carry-on baggage, if you go beyond their stipulated (must read the fine print) guidelines, they can (and WILL) charge you a hefty “excess baggage” fee.  I’m getting packed for an extended trip now and am trying to remember all the things we “didn’t end up using” on previous trips.  Now, I’m seriously paring down my packing list (oh yeah, like I actually make a list :).

This whole excess baggage thinking has made me realize just how much it would help our marriages if we would apply those guidelines to our relationships.  I mean, how much extra burden can it be on a spouse if we keep dragging around the experiences, hurt feelings, low expectations, guilt or fears from the past--an over-bearing father, a domineering mother, or a moody/needy sister?  When those burdens are carried into a marriage, instead of the load being halved, now it’s doubled!

There are signs in any relationship that say “Beware”:
1.  If one of you always compares the other to someone else;
2.  If one of you is possessive or jealous;
3.  If one of you causes any physical or emotional abuse

I’m not proposing you “hide” these past issues from your mate.  I am suggesting that we learn how to express emotions without attacking your partner.  As a listener, learn how to be a “safe” person for your partner to discuss what was left behind.   Face those unresolved issues.  See how those came from the past and shouldn’t be projected onto your spouse.  Then, dump that old extra baggage overboard!

I've written a few blogs in the past about the differences I've discovered between men and women since I've been married. For example, how completely differently we act when we're sick. Well, I just discovered another big difference: how we shop.

I don't know why this came as a surprise. I certainly knew the difference between the way my parents shopped from a very young age. When I was a little girl, every December my dad would take my sister and me Christmas shopping for Mom’s gifts, and then my mom would take us shopping for Dad’s gifts. The trip with Dad would go something like this: “First we’ll go to Lechmere and get her a new clock radio, then we’ll go to Service Merchandise and get her a silver heart locket, then we’ll go to Sears and get her a navy turtleneck, size medium, and then we’ll stop at CVS on the way home and get her a bottle of Jean Naté.” The trip with Mom would go something like this: “We’ll start at the Mall.” That pretty much summarizes the difference between the way men shop and the way women shop.

The difference is especially pronounced when it comes to clothes shopping. This point was really driven home for me yesterday when H took a long lunch break and went clothes shopping with me. He was mystified the first time I went into the dressing room with the exact same pair of jeans in two different sizes. He was even more mystified when I came out and announced that they didn’t fit. He simply couldn’t comprehend that there was not a size of that style of jeans that would fit me. It didn’t occur to him that one size could be too small in the thighs and the next size up could be too big in the waist. This is not surprising considering that 75% of his wardrobe comes from Costco. For those of you unfamiliar with Costco, it is one of those “big box” stores where you can buy anything from snow tires to a wedding cake to a chainsaw to suntan lotion. They also sell clothes – but they don’t have dressing rooms. This is not a problem for H (nor for most men), because he knows what size he is. He can pick out a pair of pants in any style at any store in the country and if they’re a 38 long, they will fit him. I, however, have pants in my closet in sizes 6, 8, 10, and 12, and they all fit me. (And I mean the "now" me - this isn't even including my "skinny phase" and "fat phase" wardrobe sections. And yeah, try explaining THAT concept to a guy!) And I’ve tried on other pants in those exact same sizes that absolutely do not fit me.

So of course women shop differently. We have to! We don’t have the option of planning out a trip ahead of time and deciding to buy a pair of khaki pants from store A and a red cocktail dress from store B. We may have to go to stores C, D, E and F before finding khaki pants that fit right, and we might end up with a green cocktail dress from store B but then have to return it after finding an even better purple cocktail dress at store G, naturally having had no luck at all finding the red cocktail dress we originally had in mind. Women have to be more open-minded about these things, or else we’d end up walking around in ratty old jeans and white T-shirts every day.

Actually, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. If only I could find a pair of jeans that fits…

Have you heard of The Beloved Movement yet? If not, allow me to introduce you.

The Beloved Movement Portrait Sessions are about discovering and inviting the love that already exists ... within a person, a couple, or a relationship.

It is the focus on and sharing of Beloved portrait sessions with established married couples by Jesh de Rox that has ignited this movement towards a new genre of photography.

Kristi Crosson, a Colorado based photographer, says:

"As a photographer I have been blessed to be a witness to many beautiful moments in people's lives. I have captured weddings, families, new babies, maternity, and more.  Recently I was able to participate in a photographic experience unlike anything I have ever done. I was a witness to the most beautiful display of love between a married couple that I could have imagined. My friend Destiny and her husband Jorden acted as my test subjects for the Beloved sessions I will be offering starting in June. Beloved is a project, dream, experiential journey, started by a photographer by the name of Jesh de Rox. His vision is now being realized through photographers all over the world, including myself.

Beloved was her gift to Jorden and Destiny. Jorden was in the US Army, and returned from serving in Iraq early this year. He had been away from his wife and child for over a year.

This experience was an opportunity for them to remember why they got married in the first place, and to look to the future they will have together. I am so blessed to have been a part of this, and I want to thank Jorden and Destiny for trusting me enough to bare their souls during this session. It was; in a word; beautiful."

Kristi Crosson specializes in all types of 'love stories', especially weddings. For more information you can contact her at Kristi@Kristicrosson.com or call her at 719-201-4267 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              719-201-4267      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              719-201-4267      end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

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At first, that sounds really strange, and almost offensive. But think about the term "special needs". It generally refers to someone who is different from his peers, who needs to be treated with special care, who needs to be understood and focused on and given extra attention that is carefully adapted to his unique needs, abilities, and way of thinking. And isn't that exactly what a marriage should be like?

After all, your husband is unique. His needs are not exactly like anyone else's. His way of thinking is not exactly the same as all other men's. He is a unique individual who needs your care and attention and focus. And he needs that care and attention and focus to be uniquely adapted for his special needs.

And if you focus on his special needs, I bet he'll be more than happy to focus on yours, too!

Photo source Our Wedding Plus

Photo Source Manolo Brides

Photo Source Strictly Weddings

Photo Source Wild Flower Events

So if your sweet tooth is tempting you this month, give in and enjoy! After all....it's a National Holiday.♥

Looking for the best deals and fabulous coupons on the latest fashion finds? Check out all the Reviews & Giveaways, New Product Info and More at Fashion Fling!

Find out how you can get 15% off all wedding gifts from Layla Grace!

But we are so excited that Fashion Fling loves  She Just Got Married and is giving away a gift set to one of their followers! Check it out but be sure to get your entry in by June 8th!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Believe it or not, the bridal bouquet toss celebration goes back to fourteenth century France where it was believed that a bride was especially lucky on her wedding day. Guests would rush towards the bride at the end of the ceremony in hopes of tearing off a piece of her dress to take home for their own good fortune. This often ended in a scuffle dangerous for the bride (and guests). For a brief time, in an effort to fend off the wild attacks, the bride would throw her stockings (or garter) until brides began to rebel against this undignified practice. Brides instead switched to throwing the bouquet and that tradition has remained in place."

But if you prefer to not toss your bouquet into a crowd, consider presenting your bouquet to a wedded couple who has inspired you both to become newlyweds.

Did you toss your bouquet?

The family dance studio is celebrating its centennial anniversary this year - it was founded by H’s grandmother when she was only 16 years old. This weekend is the big Gala Celebration, and as part of the event, H has been putting together a multimedia presentation of the studio’s history. Naturally, the history of the studio is deeply intertwined with the history of the family. So as I’ve been helping H do research and pull together stories and photographs for the presentation, I’ve been learning a lot about the family that I’ve become a part of.

H's grandmother, c. 1920

I’ve had the privilege of hearing family stories, such as how H’s grandmother would earn money for dance lessons by teaching what she learned to other kids in the neighborhood for a nickel. How H’s oldest aunt came to be adopted by his grandmother before she was even married. How H’s grandmother died the night of dress rehearsal for the big annual recital and the family decided not to tell the students until the performance was over. How H’s parents met on a USO tour (she knocked his trombone off its stand while practicing high kicks too close to the stage curtain). And how H’s mother brought him to the dance studio as an infant and tucked his cradle under the piano where the music would lull him to sleep.

H's Aunt Norma, 1922

H's mom and her siblings dance at her wedding in 1960

Hearing all these stories makes me feel like I’ve been let into a special club. It’s not like they’re family secrets, but they’re part of family lore that doesn’t get shared with just anyone. Knowing these stories makes me feel like I’m truly a part of his family – of OUR family. And I can’t wait to pass these stories on to our own children, to give them a special insight into the family they’re a part of.

So how much do you know about your sweetie’s family history? And how much does he know about yours? Why don’t you take an evening sometime soon and tell each other family stories. You know you have a few – how about the time you stuck a bobby pin in the electrical outlet when you were 3, or when you cut your sister’s hair the night before school pictures when you were 7, or how your parents met when your mom went to a party with your dad’s best friend, or how you grandfather almost got run over by a tractor driven by the next-door neighbor’s kid? Get to know each other’s family history – after all, it’s YOUR family history now, too.

Did you know that there are an estimated 40 bee sting fatalities in the USA each year!  Yet, sales on grills, tents, volley-ball sets, and kayaks continue to climb.

Did you know there are at least 5 fatal shark attacks per year in the world?  And still, the beaches of Cozamel, St. Thomas, Malibu, Key West, and sandy shores everywhere are top vacation spots?

Did you know that there are millions (you heard that right...millions) of deaths from eating disorders in the world?  Yet, I’m still eating; sometimes dieting, and sometimes stuffing just one more canolli into my mouth!

There are horror stories focusing on the negative statistics about marriage.  Sometimes we just have to close our ears to those reports!  After all, most of us have our own scarey stories that hit waaaaay too close to home---an uncle who left his wife of 43 years; a cousin who came out of the closet after having three kids and 12 years of marriage; a niece who left her husband after only 7 months together, etc., etc., etc.---yours may even top that! 

BUT, even in the face of such knowledge, couples still fall in love, plan for a lifetime of love, and marry with the expectation of seeing their dreams come true.  YEA!  I’m for keeping that idea and ideal alive!

No one said there weren’t risks with any undertaking (sharks in the water, bees at the picnic, marriage woes).  Each of us could give our own personal tales at this point.  And, if we expect a negative outcome, we’ll get it!  But, if we plan on love’s longevity as if there is NO other option, it’s most likely that you’ll be planning that 50th wedding anniversary some day. 

There are great helps out there that we can choose to read, think about, and listen to that will build up our relationships.  Like all the great blogs here on SJGM!  Thanks to all of you who write or even just comment.  We really do help each other!

I find it helpful to just tune out the scarey tales of failure...

But Lowe's hit the nail on the head (Oh..HA...a little 'home improvement' humor) when they came up with the slogan..."Let's Build Something Together". Brilliant!

They say 'a picture says 1000 words'. So when I saw this picture of my very own cousin, Dallas, and his oh-so-beautiful bride to be, Britain, I saw for myself how true that saying it. 1000 words and more...love, happiness, future, home, marriage, 'why am I wearing an apron' (heehee).....just a few of them.

Build and Grow (as his sassy little aprons says) - only this isn't a DIY project - this one requires 2 to lay this foundation. And from there....who knows how much building and growing will take place.

Oh...by the way - They will be married next Saturday. ♥

Love you both!!

My husband and I are generally very affectionate, both physically and verbally. We hold hands a lot, we kiss in elevators, we always say “love you!” before we hang up the phone, we tell each other “I love you” often. But it’s the times when those words seem almost incongruous that stick in my memory. Of course H told me he loved me on our anniversary, and when I got laid off from my job, and when Ryan was born. But the more memorable times are when he’s said he loves me out of the blue when we were in the car going someplace dull like the mall, or in bed as we were drifting off to sleep, or while we were watching the baby do something silly.

It reminds me that I need to look for times when I have no particular reason to tell him I love him, and tell him I love him. Not only when he’s just done something nice for me, or on a special occasion, but just one of those random moments when I look at him and think what a lucky girl I am. And I certainly have plenty of those, because I do love him so much. In fact, I think I’ll go tell him so right now.

I don't eat the ends of bananas.

Why? Because my dad told me that spiders latch onto the ends of bananas and suck the juice out. He told me that when I was little and now...many years later, I still won't eat the very end of a banana.

Is that crazy? I have no idea if that's even true and quite frankly...when I think about it, it sounds somewhat absurd!!

But for years, without even giving it a thought, I peel my banana and when I get to the very bottom, I slice it off.  I do it because it's an engrained habit.

My dad also told me and my brothers that whenever we left a room, if we left the light on he would charge us a nickel...each time. That began to cut into my allowance (my very small allowance...which I earned by mowing the lawn or other chores).  So now, out of habit, whenever I walk out of a room I turn off the light. It's engrained in my brain!

We all enter into relationships with certain habits. For example - my family ate dinner promptly at 6:00 and because 'that's just the way we did it' .... I assumed that's the the way "WE" would do it (my husband and I). At first, I never really considered if he liked eating that early. 

I like the sheets tucked in nice and tight (you're not going to believe this but my dad....an ex-army guy....is the one who taught me to make my bed with 'hospital corners'...very tightly tucked in corners). So, consequently, in my new home, with my 6'5" husband, I, naturally, made our bed the way I was used to making it.  But guess what? He feels 'trapped' in the covers. I had no idea that everyone didn't make their bed the same way...it was just 'the way we did it'.

I still turn off the lights when I leave a room and I still cut the end of the banana and we eat at 6:00 (turns out he does like eating at that time!) but I've learned to think before I do something just because that's the way we did it. I've really loosened up a bit...literally. I no longer tuck the sheets too tightly.

What habits have you changed for the sake of your relationship?

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So these last two weeks have been a bit hectic for the hubs and I.  It seems that almost everyday after work there was something going on which we were out and about for.  Yesterday was a long day.  Long as in we stepped foot in our house for about 10 minutes after work before we got back into the car to head out.  We were in a meeting and at times we both looked at each other with a warm look.  You know that look your husband gives you that don't need any words to be spoken because you know that he's just "saying" I love you and adore you. That's the look we gave each other.  We have both been making BIG changes in our life and are so excited about it.  It's amazing how great things lead to greater things.  Last night on our way home, we were starving because we didn't eat anything before our meeting but neither one of us wanted heavy food.  I told him I was content on having a bowl of cereal but we needed to stop in the 24 hour Pathmark to pick up some milk.  So, we went out of our way to get some milk and as we were walking in the store, we were holding hands and were just on cloud 9!  These past couple of days big things have been happening and I feel like our bond is getting even closer.  Sometimes you just need to stop the busy life, and take a moment to appreciate your life at that given moment.  People worry so much about other stuff and tend to forget about themselves. 

The hubs and I are ONLY thinking about yourselves now and no one else.  We have to make sure we are good before we can help anyone else.  And I'm happy with that.  I'm happy that we are both realizing that we need to make these changes for US and only US. 

So to end my sappy corny lovey dovey post, I leave you with a recent pic of the hubs and I! 

What I Wish I'd Known Before the Wedding

Thanks to all those who contributed - check out their sites because they all ROCK!

• Kricia Morris  - KriciaMorris.com
• Emma Arendoski – EmmalineBride.com
• Kimberly Leatherdale – Creating Rewarding Relationships
• Liz McGinty and Gina Dziak – MissNowMrs.com
• Lena Carpelan – Blackberry Hill Kids
• Robin Q. Daumit – Beauty Shop Buzz
• Chris Easter- The Man Registry.com
• Anna Coker – The Current Wife
• Kenya Hegazy – Newlywed Giggles
• Amanda Roquemore- Fashionista On A Dime
• Alex Remon – MegaMouth Productions
• Amy – All Things Wedding
• Nora K. Gonzalez – NoraKaren.com
• Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”)- TinaTessina.com
• Lauren Grove – Every Last Detail
• Sally Shields – The Daughter-In-Law Rules
• Kate Washington – Newlywed and Unemployed
• Sandy Philpott – Sandy’s Motherhood Blog
• Denée King – She Just Got Married
• Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, Ed.S., LMFT – A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage
• Michelle R. Morton – Send Out Cards
• Marty Babbington – Bride Body Now
• Jann Foy – Housing Trends
• Lynn Blumenfeld – blumenfeld + fleming
• Stu Gray – the Marry Blogger

♥Share the love....pass it on to a freind♥

For the past few months we have been collecting stories from over 20 different authors and bloggers who have all contributed to a wonderful E-book that is being released today. The best news? It's a FREE download! Just click on the picture and it will take you to the site (Lulu.com) where you can then download it.

If you enjoy it - we'd be honored if you'd share it with a friend. ♥

I just wanted to let you all know that if you have not purchased the underwear that has the shejustgotmarried logo on the back with the CUTEST EVER little rhinestone as the ring, YOU SHOULD!

The underwear is super comfortable and the hubs even liked the rhinestone accent on the booty area!  

Score!

But seriously, I love it!  Make sure to check it out at the boutique!  I have both the t-shirt and underwear and love it!

Now, I have this shocked face, but then again, I did what I wanted at my wedding.  But she pretty much told me to my face that I was rude for not saying to all 175 guests of mine.  Then she tops it off with this statement: "If she doesn't say hi, I'll just go around to people and tell them to get in your car and go home since the bride and groom didn't thank you."  

Seriously?  THIS really got to me.  First of all, you're paying for the wedding so I'm sure you don't want these people leaving.  Secondly, maybe your daughter and son-in-law would like to fully enjoy their wedding considering that an hour is a lot when you have a 4 hour reception where the first two hours are pretty booked with first dance, speech, and dinner.  

Now, I will give you my reasoning why I chose not to go around to every single table and say "thank you." 

• I know that everyone who was invited to my wedding knows  how THANKFUL I am for them to be there.  I shouldn't have to tell them again.
• We chose to be included in our cocktail hour and not secluded is some bridal suite so that gave us the time to be social with our guests and say hi then.  It was great and we enjoyed being part of it.  Some people were saying "you're ruining your grand entrace!"  Want to know what I said to them?  "We already had our grand entrance at our church ceremony.  You should have been there to witness it."  (I think it's rude when you don't go to the ceremony and just show up at the reception, but that's my belief)
• We paid for our wedding so I made sure that I was going to enjoy every minute of it.  I was told so many stories of how it flies by and make sure you pack extra food because you won't eat, blah blah blah. Well guess what?  I said hi to most of my guest during cocktail hour; I ate ALL of my dinner and also stole some food off the hubs plate; I danced ALL NIGHT LONG and I also ate TWO pieces of cake.  It can be done people.  It's called enjoying your wedding day.
• I had 175 guests at my wedding which amounted to about 15 tables.  If I went around and said hi to everyone it would have taken more than an hour because you can't just say "hi".  People want to ask you questions, take pictures with you, and next you know, there's an hour left.  I knew there was a huge possibility of this happening so that's why we opted to not do that.  
• It's called the bride and groom speech.  You know, when the MOH and BM are done with their speech, usually the bride and groom will say something.  That's the perfect time to thank everyone and let all of your guests know how special it is to have them there with you on your special day.  I don't see anything wrong with this kind of thank you. 

So, what are your opinions on this subject?
Did you go around to each table and say "thank you"?
Did you have a little speech instead directed to everyone?
Am I being too pushy with me being upset that she said it was RUDE when bride and grooms choose to have fun at their wedding for the full time not go around each table and say hi? 

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A friend and I were talking last week about how many couples we know are getting divorced. The subject came up because one of our closest friends just told us that his wife is leaving him and we were both so shocked. My friend said "I know my husband and I really love each other but it's kind of scary when you find out that other couples, who you thought had a great marriage, are suddenly getting divorced." Then she said this....."For us, divorce is not an option".

Sounds like a pretty good mantra, right?

But read what happens when the mind believes what it sees - even though it's far from the truth....

George Joseph Kresge who had his name legally changed to The Amazing Kreskin, is a mentalist who became popular on American television in the 1970s. I know about The Amazing Kreskin because my mom saw him perform his act on stage at the college she was attending. He would ask volunteers to come up on stage to participate in his act. One of the more popular guys from the school made it up on stage while the crowd cheered and laughed. Suddenly Kreskin had him convinced that he was a duck and he was quacking and waddling all over the stage.

On another occasion, a different mentalist told his volunteer that a tree leaf was a hot coal. He touched that person's arm with the leaf and within a minute the man had a blister - like when you are burned!! How was that even possible? It was a piece of an ordinary leaf!

Because we see what we believe!!

I suggested to my friend that she tweak her thinking and replace "Divorce is not an option" with phrases like "my marriage is fantastic" or "I love being married to my husband" or "I'm so thankful that my marriage is everything I dreamed and more!"

If you believe that divorce is everywhere then that's what you'll see. But if you believe that marriage is wonderful and fun and the most amazing blessing of your life - guess what you'll see? Believe it!

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Conversation I had with the hubs over blackberry messenger a few minutes ago.... Please see my additional notes in red.

2:07pm  ME:  I think I'm getting baby fever

(I notice what I left out and feverishly trying to type out the corrections before he responds)

2:07pm  HUBS:  What?

(too late and i'm sure the hubs is completely freaking out a bit)

2:08pm  ME: Oh wait, that might scare you.  I should have wrote "I think I'm getting furbaby fever."

2:08 pm  HUBS: What?

(Then I send him this picture file)

2:08 pm ME:

2:08pm  ME: Furbaby! I want a furbaby like the pic I just sent

2:08pm  HUBS: What are you talking about?

(clearly the hubs didn't open the attachment yet so he's probably still thinking that I want actual human babies)

2:08pm  ME: 

2:09pm  ME: Furbaby = puppy

2:09pm  ME: Isn't the siberian puppy cute!

(and this is when the kicker comes in courtesy of hubs)

2:10pm  HUBS:  

(that is the Whew! icon)

2:10pm  ME: LMAO

2:10pm  ME: I'm cracking up in my cube!

2:10pm  ME: Gotta love bbm icons

2:11pm  ME: I'm so blogging about this convo!

So there you have it.  I might have almost given the hubs a heart attack when I started off the conversation.  Next time I'll proofread any sentence I send him that has the word "babies" in it!

And within those religious and cultural traditions, some families have traditions of their own. My family background is British, and I grew up with the saying, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe." When my mother got engaged, her Aunt Win was traveling in England and brought back a silver sixpence for her to wear in her shoe at her wedding. When I got married, I wore the same sixpence in my shoe. If I have a daughter, hopefully someday she'll wear that same sixpence in her shoe.

My husband's family runs a dance studio, so everyone in his family dances. At his parents' wedding, the whole family danced a waltz clog to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". So at our wedding, everyone in the family got up on the dance floor and danced it again - same tune, same choreography as 50 years ago! H's aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews have all continued that tradition as well.

When H and I got married, we agreed that we wanted to incorporate something from each of our parents' weddings, so when we discovered they had both used the same processional music, we used that music as our processional. Perhaps our children will choose to continue that tradition and use that processional music as well.

What family or cultural traditions did you (or will you) use in your wedding ceremony? And what parts of your wedding do you hope will become a family wedding tradition?

"Your legs are like blueberry cheesecake."

             "Do you know what?  You are beautiful."

                        "I could live anywhere as long I was with you."

These kinds of heart-stopping remarks from my love normally leave me breathless and flushed even as his wife. Usually my eyes dart to the floor and remain glued there until he is finished. Sometimes I respond with a shy "thank you," without even glancing at him. Other times I just continue on with the task at hand, as if that is more important!

My husband's compliment department is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Just like his kisses, compliments never stop flowing from his lips. Most of which are PG-13- for my ears only.

His endless strings of thoughtful phrases demonstrate that he does not just have a way with words, but he knows the way to my heart. Rather than carelessly tossing out an occasional, "I love you," or "You look nice," he thinks through every statement before it hits my ears. As he speaks to me he will try his best to look deep into my bashful eyes, touch my leg softly, hold my hand, or whisper into my ear.

His compliments are genuine. His motives pure. He wants me to never doubt that I am adored. Treasured. Loved. Radiant. Beautiful.

Compliments are sweet to our taste, but they are often difficult to swallow.

The simple act of receiving compliments from our husbands actually takes practice.

Instead of trying to ramble off a poetical piece from Song of Songs, staring blankly at our toes as our cheeks turn shades of red, or putting our hands back into the dishes, we can try a more effective approach.

A compliment is best received and reciprocated when we press the pause button on our lives.

Even if you don't believe it, let the compliment come into your heart and reside there.

Stop. Look. Move.

This is not a fire drill, but a way to acknowledge the truth that your husband is pouring out his heart towards you because he loves you!

Stop.  Wipe your hands off. Pull over the car. Take a seat while the shoppers pass all around you.  (Don't care about the stares- people need to see true love more!)

Look. Turn and stare deeply into the eyes.  (Bat those lashes ladies!)

Move.  Hold his hand. Wrap your arms around him. Put your head on his shoulder.  (Snuggle up close!)

Relish in the moment for a few seconds. Perhaps a few seconds will lead to a couple minutes, and a couple minutes will lead to something else!

I know it sounds silly- stop, look, move. But all that takes a few seconds and will work wonders for your relationship. 

Compliments are not meant to be tossed off and treated as common goods.

Compliments should be received with sincerity. They are a rare gem, even if you hear them every day.

Stop and receive it and you will start to believe it! You are adored. Treasured. Loved. Radiant. Beautiful.

Practicing to receive compliments from our man shows him more love and respect than you realize!

And your heart will be changed in the process.

Before you go and pick up all you need from the store today, pick up on his compliments and respond to them!

Appreciating your spouse – and letting him or her know it – is an important part of any marriage. Marriage is work, and everyone likes it when their hard work is recognized and appreciated. So when you notice that your husband has been making a real effort to help keep the house clean, or to keep up with everything on the “Honey Do” list, or if he’s been putting in extra hours at work so you can afford that new roof, or a more reliable car, or even a nice dinner out now and then, let him know you appreciate his hard work.

Even more than appreciating that extra effort, be sure to appreciate the everyday effort he puts in. Think about how nice it is when someone notices that you do your regular, day-to-day duties well. The other week, H told me, “Thanks for all the laundry you’ve done this week.” Doing laundry is not out of the ordinary for me; it’s just part of what I do. It's just laundry, for heaven's sake. But the fact that he noticed and appreciated that it was getting done made me feel, well, appreciated. And it made the next load of laundry feel a lot less like drudgery. So try to notice the routine, boring stuff that your husband does without complaining. Thank him for taking out the trash, or changing that burnt out light bulb, or clearing the table after dinner. Tell him you appreciate his ability to unclog the sink, or change the oil in the car, or drive the 7 hours to Aunt Nellie’s house without needing a break. Make an effort to notice all the things he does that you usually take for granted, and don’t take them for granted.

It’s amazing what a difference a little appreciation can make.

I’m a relatively busy person. I work full time, go to school at night, and volunteer. For the last year I have been volunteering at a PTA for one of the elementary schools in the area that I live in. You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t remember her mentioning have an elementary aged child.” You are not crazy. I haven’t mentioned having an elementary aged child because I don’t have one. Your next question/thought might be, “Why be involved in PTA?” Here is the short version: I don’t know how to say no to friends.

I was asked about a year ago by a really good friend of mine if I would be willing to volunteer to be Treasurer for the PTA at the elementary school her daughter attends. My first question was, “What do I have to do?” She explained that it would be one meeting a month and there would be no other real time commitment I would have to make. I thought about it for a couple of days and when she asked me about it again I told her I would do it and that she owed my BIG TIME. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have now been the Treasurer for almost a year and man does it seem like a long one.

I am not able to volunteer for a lot of things at the school other than the commitment I agreed to in order to be Treasurer. Whenever I tell someone that I have something to do for the PTA they don’t know what to say. Their first question is most times, “A PTA!!?? You don’t have any kids; what are you doing for a PTA?” I give the short version of the situation and move on to another topic.

I live in California and the first weekend in May was the California State PTA’s annual convention. I was asked if I would like to attend to get some wonderful training and to just take a short break from my normal life. I said I would go if no one else wanted to join the person already going. No one did so I ventured to lovely downtown Sacramento, CA for a short vacation. I met some wonderful people and attended some awesome workshops over the 4 day event. There was a dinner for the Council in which “my” school belongs to. I went to the dinner with the other person there with me and wanted to meet new people in my area and pretty much to network. The people I was sitting next to are all very wonderful and passionate moms. They were all sharing how old their kids were, what position they were going to be holding in the PTA in the fall, and whatever else they wanted to share. When it came to my turn I wasn’t quite sure what to say (I had been thinking about this listening to everyone else talk). They asked how many kids I had; I answered truthfully and they were a little confused. I briefly explained the situation and the almost instantaneously they started tearing up. Why would someone like me volunteer my time to something I have no tie to? The answer: I don’t know; I just do.

So you’re probably thinking, “Why is this an unexpected joy in life?” You didn’t see the look of gratitude on their faces when I told them my story and about my life. I know what it’s like to struggle to get volunteers to help out. I know about their struggles in trying to get people involved and engaged. I went through the public school system in California not that long ago and I have more recent experience in the classroom of a school than they do. These women were moved by the fact the I, at 25, would be willing to volunteer my time to a cause so close to their hearts without a question. They were so astonished that someone would do this that they will go back to the PTAs at their schools and think about extending that olive branch to someone on their community that may not have a tie to the school because they know that people will come if you ask them to.

 I don’t do it for the recognition or for the volunteer hours, I do it because when a friend asks for your help you always say YES!!

Sometimes a couple’s wedding photography experience doesn’t go as planned. Whether it’s due to an unprofessional professional, unmet expectations, or circumstances in life outside of everyone’s control, there are some couples out there who I think deserve a second chance at wall worthy portraits.

After receiving far too many emails from brides unhappy with their wedding photos for one reason or another (or worse, brides who have almost no photos at all!) I’ve decided to hold a contest that will allow one lucky couple the chance to dress up and have another go at creating portraits that can be admired for years to come. I believe that everyone should have at least one photo (hopefully more though!) that they can show their grandchildren and say “See this picture? It’s one of my favorites because it shows just how beautiful and happy we were.”

Click HERE to visit the Jenna Cole Wedding Redux contest blog post to find out the details on who can enter and how…

Actor Paul Newman (married to actress Joanne Woodward for 50 years), upon being asked how he resisted the urge to stray: “Why go out for hamburger when you’ve got steak at home?” He also attributed their successful marriage to having the “correct amounts of lust and respect.” Joanne Woodward’s comments on their marriage? “Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.”

Author Ruth Bell Graham (married to evangelist Billy Graham for 63 years), upon being asked if they had ever considered divorce: “Divorce, no. Murder, yes.” Billy’s take: “Ruth and I don't have a perfect marriage, but we have a great one. For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic.”

Author Madeleine L’Engle (married to actor Hugh Franklin for 50 years): “A love which depends solely on romance, on the combustion of two attracting chemistries, tends to fizzle out. A long-term marriage has to move beyond chemistry to compatibility, to friendship, to companionship. It is certainly not that passion disappears, but that it is conjoined with other ways of love.”

Psychologist Joyce Brothers (married to doctor Milton Brothers for 39 years): “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”

Actress Jada Pinkett Smith (married to actor Will Smith for 13 years): “I will throw my career away before I let it break up our marriage.”

Actress/comedienne Anne Meara (married to actor/comedian Jerry Stiller for 56 years), when asked if it was love at first sight: “It wasn’t then, but it sure is now.”

Author Leo Tolstoy (married to Sofia Behrs for 48 years): “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”

Actress Kyra Sedgewick (married to actor Kevin Bacon for 20 years), on handling the inevitable conflicts of marriage: “Both of us knew this was forever and we were going to work it out no matter what happens, so when we fight, it's not so scary.”

Actor Kirk Douglas (married to Anne Buydens for 56 years): “If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.” Anne’s marriage advice?: “The key to a long marriage is to just cherish every moment that you spend together like it is your last.”

Actor/director Ron Howard (married to novelist Cheryl Howard for 35 years), on his secret to marital bliss: “"At the end of the day, my expectation is not that I'm going to have the last word!"

As a reward, Ron, we'll let you have the last word here.

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I love Oprah! She's bold and brave and has dared to share ideas that buck the system...ideas that are controversial. She's been honored and slandered....and even been called "the anti-Christ" for challenging her audience to think outside the box of tradition. She's not afraid or ashamed to say that she is still looking for new truths about life and expecting to discover them and to grow from those discoveries.

In her magazine she has a column each month entitled "What I Know For Sure".  Each time I read it, it makes me think....'what do I know for sure'?

Have you ever heard a woman say ..."he's just not the same man I married"?

Do you suppose she's still the same woman he married?

Imagine this scenario...

You were attracted to him in the beginning because he was such a stud in high school.  He was so good-looking, perfect eye candy. Shoot, he was even the football team captain and you were smitten.  You dated through college and then got married. Now you've been married for two years and all he wants to talk about is how he led the team to a state championship while you try to discuss the crisis in Darfur.

Really? Do you really want to still be married to THAT guy? (Remember Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite?).

What I know for sure is that if you're not growing.....you're dying.  This is the truth in every aspect of life...including marriage. If you feel like the man you married isn't the same man you married last year, or two years ago, or ten years ago....be thankful!

Source - Maharani Weddings

What a fantastic world we live in - the amount of beauty that is all around is endless. One of the things I've come to love is discovering the different ways people from all over the globe celebrate weddings and the traditions that are such a beautiful part of each culture.

I won't try to go into a detailed explanation of the customs of the South Asian wedding but I will, hopefully, whet your appetite with these beautiful photos so that you will want to visit some of the fabulous sites and blogs where you can discover them for yourself.

Maharani Weddings features some of the most spectacular and colorful weddings of the Southeast Asian bride and groom.

Source - Maharani Weddings

The make-up and jewelry are absolutely stunning.

In context of an Indian bride, mehndi (commonly known as 'henna') is believed to signify the strength of her marriage as well as the amount of love that she will receive in her husband's house. In fact, it is said that the darker the color of the mehendi (on the hands and the feet of a bride), the stronger will be the marriage and longer it will last. At the same time, the dark color of henna is also said to mean that the bride will receive a lot of love from her husband as well as her in-laws. This is the reason why, after the application of bridal henna designs, the bride undertakes a lot of efforts, like applying oil or heat, to ensure that the color is dark.

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For more spectacular visual artistry and information on the Indian wedding be sure to visit Maharani Weddings.

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For one thing, I know more of what to expect from H. We got married after knowing each other for only 7 months, so although we knew a lot about each other's character and ways of thinking, we were a little less familiar with our day-to-day functioning and lifestyles. When we first got married, any time H got frustrated with something (work, the computer, some project he was working on), he would clam up and slam things around and be very terse, and I always took it personally, as if he were mad at ME. But I've learned that when he gets that way, I just need to leave him alone - don't try to help, whatever I do - and just wait it out.

I've discovered that he doesn't expect me to be like him. Sure, he's very neat and organized, but as long as my mess stays on my side of the bedroom, it doesn't bother him. He loves to cook (and eat) gourmet, but he really appreciates my more down-home style of cooking. He can't comprehend how I can get lost somewhere I've been a dozen times, but he accepts it and just makes sure I have my GPS anytime I go somewhere by myself. And he accepts that he needs to warn me about certain things that make me nervous well in advance - for example, last year he asked me to drive his sister's minivan in a parade, AS we were arriving at said parade. I'd have been fine if I'd had a couple of days to freak out quietly about it, but on the spot I didn't do so well. Now he knows to give me fair warning for such things.

After two years of marriage, there are a lot of odd things we've both learned to accept about each other, even if we don't understand them. I don't feel hurt when he doesn't notice that I got a new haircut and he doesn't mind when I leave my shoes under the kitchen table. I don't worry when he's unusually quiet when he gets home from work and he doesn't panic when I don't have a lot to say on a given night. We've learned that we each have quiet moods and chatty moods, that sometimes we need to talk and sometimes we need to be left alone. We've learned not to take those moods personally, and not to feel the need to "fix" those moods for each other.

We've learned that we can be ourselves, no matter what - we don't need to put up some front to make ourselves look better. He loves me even when I drive him crazy, and vice versa.

Our relationship has, in some ways, become old hat. We don't need to think about some facets of it anymore, because it's become second nature to each of us. But there are always new discoveries and new things to learn about each other. There will always be new hat, so to speak. But whatever wonderful new hat we discover, I'll always really like my old hat.

Well, work has kicked my booty the last two weeks since I had business travel back to back.  It's been a hectic two weeks in my household. 

But I did miss you all and here to give you a giggle.  Hopefully this makes up for me not being here for you.  I'm sorry!

So, in NJ, it's been HOT these past couple of days.  Last night when we went to bed, we put on the air conditioner in the bedroom because I refused to sleep all sweaty on top of our sheets. YUCK!  I am already in bed in the cool room when the hubs comes in and gets ready.  He hops into bed and we give each other our good night kiss.  Then, all of a sudden it  hits me.  BAM, in my face, the smell of FART.  Yep, you read that right!  Want to know what makes it worse?  It was not only one fart, but several.  Oh but that's not what made it worse.  The AC is on his side of the bed.  His booty was facing the AC.  The AC circulated the fart smell into a cool fart smell.  ALL OVER THE BEDROOM.  

The hubs is sure lucky that I love him A LOT because I don't know if I can go through that again!

Happy Farty Tuesday!

Did you know that you don’t need to wait until after your wedding to begin the name-change process? MissNowMrs.com brings to you the premier online married name-change service for brides! The married name-change process involves researching, completing and filing your state and U.S. government forms, as well as sending notification letters to all of your creditors. As the fine details and forms can be seemingly undefined MissNowMrs.com has made all efforts to simplify this process and make it more enjoyable for you!

Whether you are in the planning stages of your wedding, or are now celebrating being a newlywed… OR even if you have even been married for years, you may complete MissNowMrs.com’s 3 step easy solution: Questions, Forms, File! You will have up to 6 months to access your online account with us, so that you may complete your forms at your leisure.  

Sound great? Just leave a comment to be entered to win~!

You have one week to enter - we'll draw the winning name May 11th!

There are lots of books/articles/pieces written about marriage. I guess my theory for success is based on the Hokey-Pokey theory of marriage: You put your whole self in! Give your whole, total, complete, all-that-I-have self to your spouse and know that he’s giving you the same...holding nothing back...no hidden or missing pieces! You’ll have a lifetime to explore all the facets of that beautiful gift.

They met in the sixth grade and he was her 'bully' - or more accurately, he was doing what sixth grade boys do when they like a girl. And if that girl's assigned seat just happened to be directly in front of said 'bully' then it made it just a little easier for him to get her attention. 

They had their first date in the ninth grade and he asked her to marry him on her 20^th birthday.

When he accompanied our family to Costa Rica to be a part of the wedding celebration of my son and soon to be daughter in law, anyone would be hard-pressed to think he could have ever bullied her...even on a sixth grade level.  At the reception we girls kicked off our sassy high heels shoes and danced the night away, barefoot, while the Costa Rican monsoon dropped buckets from the moonlit sky. It was fantastic!

When we got back to our hotel we were soaking wet and drenched in happiness. We all went our separate ways to change into dry clothes. As I walked down the hall to say goodnight to my own mom, she silently motioned for me to stop, put her finger up to her lips in the universal "shhhh" position then pointed, directing my attention to the room on the left. I know my mom's smiles - the ones that say "thank you" or "you're still so silly" but this one  let me know that I was about to be witness to something that would speak volumes about the man who would soon be my only daughter's husband.

As I walked closer I heard a giggle. I turned back and looked at my mom with an expression that asked "are you sure I should look?" With her nod of approval, I cautiously peeked in, hoping not to be seen, and saw my daughter perched barefoot on the edge of the bathroom sink as he washed her dance weary feet like she was a princess.  Bully? Far from it. And I wonder, did the thought ever occur to her when he teased her in the sixth grade ......'today I met the boy I'm gonna marry'. 

On top of changing my name and becoming part of a "Mr & Mrs," we both quit our jobs in December, had five different Christmases, moved from GA to MD on the first of the new year, we both got new jobs (I actually became a nanny), in the beginning of March we moved from one apartment to another down the hall b/c of noisy neighbors, in the beginning of April I was accepted into a teaching program, this whole month of April my hubs has been traveling to California for business and we've been spending many sleepless nights apart for the first time since before we were married...

I could go on and on but it would get confusing...and a tad boring.

I have to say though... the most exciting event since we became newlyweds is not what we've done... it is what we've discovered.

We discovered that we are BEST FRIENDS. It is sad that we didn't realize this until six years after we started dating - but I think we always underestimated how much we liked one another on a "friend" level because we pretty much both fell in love at first sight. We also always had our own friends distracting us from testing out our "friendship." Moving to a city where we do not know anyone is what brought us closer together and made us realize that we need one another on a completely different level than that of a lover or cuddlebug.

We need one another when we had a bad day at work - to whine and complain. Someone to have a drink with after some good news. We need each other for encouragement - for honesty - for comfort from a scary storm.

It is silly that all of these things are what every marriage is supposed to be based on. I know that our relationship has always been based on these things - it is why we fit so perfectly together - the thing is that we never talked about it.

I am so happy knowing that not only am I married to the most handsome dreamy man with the most kissable lips and big brown eyes, but I am also married to my bestest friend in the whole wide world.

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But who do you turn to when Family is tearing you apart??

If you find yourself at the end of your rope while your marriage and family life are suffering because of the In-Laws, you are not alone in your pain. A brand new series is looking to raise awareness and bring hope to the millions of American families struggling with the emotional pain, torment and frustration that often comes along with gaining In-Laws.

Hopeless families will finally get their chance to escape dysfunction before its too late. Each episode, viewers will witness a real-life family intervention where everyone struggles to be heard as they are forced to face this all-too-common dilemma head-on. If you are struggling to overcome the very common yet sensitive issue of learning to cope with your In-Law situation and are desperate for a solution, look no further!

Fittingly similar to A&E's profound docu-drama, Intervention, this brand new series will carry the same intensity and tone as an expert mediates the family dynamics that make each tumultuous In-Law situation so complex.

Those who choose to participate will not only get a chance to heal as a family but will also be entitled to prize OR money compensation. Anyone and everyone who meets the criteria is encouraged to apply. Nominations are more than welcome!

 Email us your story, contact info and family photo to INLAWCASTING@gmail.com. We're listening...

The first time H got sick, before we were even married, I was absolutely mystified by his behavior. I offered to make him chicken soup, go to the drugstore for him, rub his back – but all he wanted was to be left alone. He didn’t want to talk to me, he didn’t want company, he just wanted to go into his man-cave and hibernate until he felt better. I, as a woman, had a very hard time letting that happen. When I’m sick, it makes me feel so much better to have company, to have someone sit by my side chatting, to check on me every few minutes, to help me think of something appetizing that I might be able to eat, and then to make it for me. So that first time, I think I annoyed poor H to no end with my hovering and my need to DO something, when all he wanted me to DO was to go away.

Well, here we are two years later and H is sick again. (He has a pretty hardy constitution.) But after two years of marriage, I am much wiser than I was. This time, I simply asked if I could pick something up for him at the drugstore (he’d stopped on the way home already), if there was anything in particular he wanted for dinner (amazingly, there was), and then I just let him eat in silence and go lie down for a nap without bugging him every two minutes asking how I could help. It wasn’t easy, I’ll admit. He probably still felt like I was bugging him when I asked if he’d like a backrub before bed. But as much as I’ve learned about what he needs from me, he’s also learned about what I need from him – and sometimes that’s for him to let me help, even if he doesn’t need help. So he graciously let me give him a massage before he fell asleep. I don’t know if it made him feel any better, but it certainly made me feel better.

So for all you newlyweds and soon-to-be newlyweds out there who may not yet have experienced the joy of looking after a sick partner, keep in mind that man sick and woman sick are not the same thing. Ladies, don’t be offended if your sweetie can’t stand the sight of you for a day or two. Men, don’t let it drive you crazy if your sweetie hovers over you. Just try to find some middle ground and accept that men and women are different (especially when they’re sick). And don’t forget – vive la difference!!!

You can learn a lot about people by their silverware - this is my new conclusion.

My husband and I recently moved into a new house - new to us, that is. The house was spotless when we took ownership. No evidence anywhere that someone else had even lived here previously until I unloaded the dishwasher for the first time. There in the bottom of the dishwasher was a tiny little fork that was obviously overlooked.

A pickle fork, maybe an olive fork. Whatever it is, I don't own one. Well, I didn't until now.

When I got married my parents gave us a beautiful set of silverware - not stainless but silver-plated. Fancy, schmancy. There were salad forks and desserts forks, ice tea spoons and regular spoons, big serving forks and spoons, and slotted spoons but no pickle fork.  

I throw a lot of parties - some are formal but most are casual...just a group of friends or family but not once have I included a pickle fork at the table or buffet line.  Now I wonder what I've missed out on and how much more fun I could have had if I'd only had a pickle fork. 

Oh well.....I always have ice cream spoons!

No matter how well you plan, unexpected things happen. They happen ahead of time, if the caterer you love doesn't "do" the brisket that your mom has her heart set on, or the bakery that comes with your favorite venue only does fondant and you're crazy for buttercream, or the exotic flower you've always dreamed of for your bouquet is out of season, or the dress all your bridesmaids fell in love with doesn't come in the color you wanted. It may frustrate you, but don't let it drive you crazy. Hopefully you can find a compromise - maybe your florist can suggest a similar flower that is in season, or your bridesmaids can wear a paler shade of dress with an accent in the color you wanted. But sometimes, you just gotta let it go.

Sometimes the unexpected happens at the last minute when you don't have a chance to come up with a plan B. It rains on outdoor weddings, limos break down, guests fail to arrive (or unplanned guests show up), someone spills red wine on a bridesmaid (or, God forbid, the bride). For the sake of your own sanity, those things you REALLY gotta let go. It's raining on your wedding? You'll end up with some adorable photos of you and your groom splashing through puddles with a big umbrella. Red wine stain on your dress? Cover it with your bouquet for the formal photos and then have a trash-the-dress photo shoot with the groom reenacting the spill. Unexpected guests? It's a party - the more the merrier! Chances are your caterer can magically produce a few more plates.

The most important thing is not to let the unexpected ruin your beautiful wedding day. Have a few folks around you designated to deal with any problems that come up - your maid of honor, your mom or dad, a beloved aunt who really wants to help. Let your vendors know to speak to that person and not to you. If the florist is one corsage short, you shouldn't know about it. Let Aunt Madge talk him into raiding a couple of the bridesmaid's bouquets and jury-rigging one more on the spot. If the limo breaks down with the groom and best man in it, let the best man call a cab to get them to the church. The bar forgot to upgrade to the higher-end champagne? Let your dad deal with it.

But the bottom line is that no matter what happens, at the end of the day you're married to your sweetie. When you look at it that way, it's pretty easy to just let everything else go.

Cariad Photography is all about photography with a Love for Light, Artistic Flair, Poetic Grace and a Sense of Intimacy. Based in Rabun, Georgia , owner and photographer Steffi Smith was recently featured in the Georgia Mountain Laurel Magazine.

Steffi says "After being an artist for over 20 years I fell in love with digital photography,  especially weddings. There is nothing I love doing more than being part of a couples' special day and being able to capture those moments."

A true Southern Wedding

From the wedding of Fritzi & Kelly at Callenwolde in Atlanta

A 'Trash the Dress' Session near Lake Rabun.

Naturally,  Steffi's work isn't limited to weddings...

Photo shoot for Views Magazine

Nothing sweeter.....

Yes....it does snow in Georgia.

Steffi and her husband, who work as a team, cover weddings all acoss the United States and will travel to make the photography part of your wedding day truly a lasting memory. Contact Steffi Smith through her website at Cariad Photography or call 706-490-2191.

A honeymoon is often the first time you and your sweetie go away, just the two of you. No parents organizing things, no friends hanging around, just the two of you spending all (or almost all) of your time together.

But it's rarely the last time you get a just-for-two vacation. Your honeymoon may seem like the most romantic getaway you'll ever have, but if you're lucky (and if you play your cards right), you'll have many, many other romantic trips together. They may be shorter, less elaborate, and less luxurious, but there's no reason they can't be just as romantic. In fact, they may be even more romantic because they're less about the high-end accommodations and exotic destination and more about just being together and enjoying each other's company.

This past Monday was our second wedding anniversary, and H surprised me with a weekend trip to Newport RI. Since it's off-season, he snagged us a gorgeous penthouse suite with an in-room whirlpool tub and waterfront view for a ridiculously low price. (OK, so it was a LITTLE luxurious.)

There were no crowds - there were hardly any other tourists at all - so we didn't have to wait in line to tour the mansions, or to browse in the shops.

We stumbled across a park full of kite-flyers (including this guy) while we were driving our rental scooter-car (note the extremely chic helmets we're sporting).

We had dinner at a spectacular restaurant on the water (if you want the full blow-by-blow description of the food, check out my blog).

And the one memento we brought home with us was a glass votive like the one on the table in the photo above. It wasn't the fanciest trip we've ever taken, it wasn't the longest, and it certainly wasn't to the most exotic location. But every time I look at that lovely votive warmly glowing on our dining room table, I'll think back to that weekend getaway that I spent snuggling with my sweetie in a goofy plastic scootercar, strolling along the waterfront watching colorful kites chase each other across the sky, and poking through lovely mansions that made me long for the sweet coziness of our own humble abode.

The dress is a reflection of you...your character, your unique style and your dreams.  As Red Hot Brides says..."Brides today are craving something more untraditional and different. The crazy idea of a black wedding dress can make some women cringe, but to an unconventional confident bride, a black wedding gown may be a perfect fit."

This stunning red dress is a one of a kind original that is both elegant and sophisticated.

photo source

Even adding a touch of color changes the look of the traditional white gown as in this beautiful design, The Claudia, by Alisa Benay.

Did you choose to add a splash of color to your gown?

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My wedding rings.  

Did you think I was going to write something bad?  Silly you.

But seriously, I am obsessed with my wedding rings!!!!  I take fifty gazillion pictures using the oh so wonderful macro feature on my oh so wonderful camera!  

And these pictures are the only ones I found on my WORK laptop.  My personal laptop has tons more!

So, My question to you is, how obsessed are you with your wedding rings?  Did you have a say or did your hubs go on his own to get your engagement ring?

The only thing I told the hubs was that I MUST HAVE would really prefer a pear shaped ring.  That's all the information I ever told him so he went on his own and picked out my ring.  For the wedding bands, I was there and really wanted to do something different along with my unique cut of stone (pear shape).  I love the color blue and sapphire is a beautiful stone, so I told the jeweler who desinged my wedding band exactly what I envisioned and VOILA!  I couldn't be any happier.  :)

So, please share you wedding ring story with me!

source

"What I Wish I'd Known Before The Wedding"

By....YOU!

You are invited to participate in our collaborative e-book entitled "What I Wish I'd Known Before The Wedding". This will be a free e-book that can be distributed all over the web, no strings attached!

Why would you want to do this?  This is an excellent way to promote your own blog and your personal brand in a format that we feel will be very widespread and read by many.

Every post will include a byline with a link back to your site, and you'll be part of a compilation with some of the most creative writers around. And, most of all, you'll be helping all of those who read it.

The topic lends itself to a variety of thoughts - everything from what you wish you had done differently in planning your wedding, information you wished you had shared with your bridal party, funny stories about your honeymoon destination (like it wasn't anything like what the brochure showed!) or some item you didn't think about taking on your honeymoon (hey...I'm talking about a good book or an extra beach towel - what were you thinking!! HA)....to what you wish you'd known about your in-laws before the all night reception. You get the idea! The idea is to be informative and helpful but also to share the lighter side of those things we all wish we'd known...before the wedding.

We are limiting this to 25 pages and each person will get their own page. Your post should be in the range of 400-700 words. Choose a title that is sure to get the reader's attention! If you want to submit a photo or illustration to go along with your story then feel free to send it. If you prefer to let our creative team choose one for you, we'll get your OK before it's published. Our goal is to have the book ready to share with the world by May 15 ^th.

Send your post and any art work to us no later than April ^30th.

Email: info@SheJustGotMarried.com - SUBJECT: E-Book

We look forward to working with those of you who wish to participate - this should be fun!

It's funny to think that we've been married for two whole years, because I still feel like a newlywed. I still get a little thrill when H comes home from work at the end of the day. I still get a little shiver up my spine when we dress up to go out and I get a whiff of his cologne. I still light up when I catch his eye across the room at a party. And my heart still skips a beat when we're walking and he reaches out to hold my hand.

Maybe it's the appreciation of being older when we found each other, maybe it's because we hadn't already been together for years and years when we got married, or maybe it really is just how perfect we are for each other. But I think the real reason we still feel like newlyweds is that we both make the effort to act like newlyweds. H still surprises me with dinner invitations now and then. I still give him backrubs before bed after a long day. He still calls me every day to let me know he's on his way home. I still email him love notes at work. He makes special dinners for me, I make special dinners for him. We both still make a conscious effort to say "I love you" every day - and mean it.

I think that with a little effort and dedication, any couple can feel like newlyweds forever. So on our fifty-second anniversary, I intend on making sure we both still feel our hearts skip a beat when we hold hands, even if it is on the porch of the old folks' home and it makes us both reach for our nitroglycerin pills. As long as H is in the rocking chair beside me, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

“It’s the obvious that’s not obvious.” I don’t know where I heard that statement, but for some reason it stuck with me...kind of on hold, waiting for an example. I got it!

One morning, my husband walked into the kitchen where I was making breakfast. He said good morning. I looked up long enough to answer, good morning. He poured us both coffee and we stood at the bar, drinking while the bagels browned. Then we sat to eat together. Every once in a while, as we talked, he’d give me this silly smile. Finally, I had to ask, “Why are you grinning at me like that?” He finally said, “You haven’t even noticed, have you?” I said, “Noticed what?” He just kept giving me that silly Cheshire-cat grin. Finally...it hit me. I practically yelled, “You shaved off your mustache!”

After wearing a mustache for months, he’d shaved his face clean. You’d think the most obvious thing would be a mustache right in the middle of his face.

Okay, okay...Hubby's wasn't that "in your face", but still... How can we miss the obvious? Has that ever happened to you? Please tell me how that can be?

The little things like that made my heart melt right then and there.  I continued to pretend I was still sleeping and he has no idea that I know he did that.  It was a great moment last night and I fell asleep with a smile on my face. 

DEVILED EGGS

12 eggs

1/2 cup mayonnaise

4 slices bacon

2 tablespoons finely shredded Cheddar cheese

1 tablespoon mustard (Dijon is good)

Place eggs in a saucepan, and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil and immediately remove from heat. Cover, and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, and cool. To cool more quickly, rinse eggs under cold running water.

Meanwhile, place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until evenly brown. Alternatively, wrap bacon in paper towels and cook in the microwave for about 1 minute per slice. Crumble and set aside.

Peel the hard-cooked eggs, and cut in half lengthwise. Remove yolks to a small bowl. Mash egg yolks with mayonnaise, crumbled bacon and cheese. Stir in mustard. Fill egg white halves with the yolk mixture and refrigerate until serving. You can either spoon or pipe the filling in, but if you pipe it be sure to use a VERY large tip on your pastry bag, since the bacon and cheese make it thick and a little lumpy.

Happy Easter, everyone!

I could have gone to Kleinfeld’s in New York City and bought a designer gown for ten grand, like the brides on “Say Yes to the Dress”. But I adored my two hundred dollar generic-brand off-the-rack gown and can’t imagine having walked down the aisle in anything else.

What about flowers? I had a simple bouquet of calla lilies and roses. My matron of honor had a similar bouquet. The groom and best man had single blossom boutonnieres. Our moms had simple but lovely corsages. And our altar flowers, an arrangement surrounding our unity candle, became the decoration for our head table at the reception. And I thought they were all perfectly gorgeous, appropriate, and not distracting. So no, I wouldn’t have gone with more expensive, elaborate, or numerous flowers.

What about jewelry? I wore a lovely pair of golden topaz (my birthstone) drop earrings, and I borrowed a gorgeous diamond journey necklace from a friend who had received it as a 50^th (no, that’s not a typo – FIFTIETH!!) wedding anniversary present from her husband. She lent it to me with the wish that H and I would have as many happy years together as she and her husband. Sure, it might have been nice to have worn some million-dollar Harry Winston diamond pendant, but it wouldn’t have meant nearly as much to me as the piece I wore. So no, I wouldn’t change anything there either.

One aspect that was especially important to both H and me was the music. We wanted plenty of music as part of the ceremony, and plenty of music at the reception. We were fortunate to have an incredibly talented church organist who was happy (and able) to accommodate our wishes for more classical prelude and postlude music, as well as accompanying some traditional hymns. We hired a fantastic brass quintet (H and I are both French horn players), who were not only terrific professional musicians but also personal friends. For our reception, we did have pre-recorded music – but even that was our preference. My generous father-in-law, a professional musician himself (he played trombone with such greats as Louis Armstrong and the Dorsey Orchestra, as well as in many other big bands and theatrical pit orchestras), offered us a full big band of his friends, but we opted for the variety and personalization of planning our own playlist. And we still pull out our wedding CD all the time and reminisce! So even that I wouldn’t have changed.

I think the only thing I might consider changing is that we had a very small wedding, inviting only about 70 people, mostly family. I would have loved to have included more friends and all of H’s cousins. But at the same time, I loved the intimacy of having such a small group, and being able to spend time with all of our guests without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

So I guess the bottom line is that, looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Not for all the money in the world.

So what would YOU do differently, if money were no object?

(All photos except necklace ©2008 Stephanie Viola, More Than Memories Photography)

Our wedding Day

The first year of our marriage was not an easy one. As we were approaching our first wedding anniversary it seemed as though everything in our life was going wrong and every single aspect of everyday life had become a pressure point.

We owned our own home but chose to rent out the top level and live in the basement to save money for our next home (where we live now), which had been fine until the new tenants moved in.

These tenants looked perfect from the outside a young hardworking family; Mom, Dad and two kids. Things were perfect... for about 48 hours; then we realized they liked to argue LOUDLY, for hours, even days at a time. Then the fighting stopped, finally relief, and then we realized they like to have EVEN LOUDER makeup sex for hours at a time, many days in a row. We couldn\'t sleep, we couldn\'t relax, and we had no peace. Of course we asked them to be quiet; they would kindly agree at the time, but never changed their volume.

Right around the same time my husband opted to make a strategic career move which literally cut his salary in half, it was an excellent move in the long run and definitely paid off, but at the time it wasn\'t easy.

We decided it was our best option, and besides we were both working full time and we had rental income so, we could make due; you know that thing they said about the best laid plans - well it\'s true.

Shortly thereafter I got into a serious car accident and was going through intensive physical therapy and couldn\'t work, I couldn\'t drive, and I was completely housebound.

This new career of my husband\'s, did I mention that it required him to go away for training Monday through Friday for a six week period?

Have you ever been in extreme physical pain, housebound, completely alone, strapped for cash, living in a basement with 3 windows the size of shoeboxes?

Have you ever been forced to listen to fighting and screaming FOR HOURS to then only be woken up in the middle of the night by the loudest, longest and raunchiest sex you\'ve ever heard? If you have, I\'m sure you\'ll agree that this was not exactly the best time in my life - in fact, it was terrible.

Now envision what I was going through then, really wrap your mind around it... now imagine what it would be like to be the poor man that has to come home to my emotional and physical state.

Not only was I at my wits end, I was emotional, needy, exhausted and in pain. Take that and couple it with the fact that our house was a living nightmare; take the tenants and combine that with the reality that I was physically unable to hang laundry, clean the bathtub or even vacuum.

When he did come home, let\'s just say it wasn\'t exactly the welcome home he was looking for. Of course he was sympathetic and caring, but he felt powerless about my physical pain, the tenants, our finances and the state of our life in general.

This was like the perfect storm to create an environment of martial contempt. There were times that I wondered if we\'d both make it to our first wedding anniversary with an ounce of sanity still intact.

This past weekend I was listening to a podcast by Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of ONE Extraordinary Marriage where they shared their reflections on marriage and spoke of the movie Fireproof and I was reminded of this time in our marriage, and how we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.

Renewing our vows on our first anniversary

I don\'t remember whose idea it was, or how we even thought of it but we decided we should renew our wedding vows. This was honestly one of the best things we\'ve ever done for the state of our marriage. We took a couple of days and drove to Niagara Falls to get remarried.

How did renewing our vows save our marriage? Life had become foggy, all the details and complications of our everyday world became so enormous that we lost perspective, lost sight of what we had wanted to create when we got married, we forgot the couple that we wanted to be, the type of spouse we had promised to be.

Standing there in that little chapel, exchanging those same vows all over again reminded us of our marital purpose; it renewed our faith in our love and our commitment.

On my wedding day, I said my vows to my husband with such conviction; I didn\'t once waver... not a tear was shed. When we renewed our vows in an intimate ceremony shared between the two of us I was overcome with emotion, because this time I knew exactly what those vows meant, they held more significance one year later.

Renewing our vows gave our marriage focus again - exactly what we needed at the time. We have since renewed our vows every year on our wedding anniversary and each year I am so grateful to be reminded of what we intended for our marriage, I am so grateful to recommit myself to my husband and reconfirm our love.

Life went on... I recovered and got back to work, we moved out of the basement and into our first real home together (which included many windows, and was located in the quiet and peace of the country), my husband got promoted, life came back into perspective and as we grew together it was far less complicated. One thing is for sure, we will never forget that first year, it helps to remind us of how far we\'ve come.

Basically Mr. Infantry is now deployed and has been for the past almost four months. To say I took it hard in the beginning is an understatement. I felt lost, empty, lonely and would cry doing silly little things like putting up his laundry or seeing a picture of him. Its gotten easier, but I still feel like the days run together sometimes and I'll be the first one to tell you my social life resembles that of an 80-year-old woman.

However, before the deployment began I started a list of goals I wanted to accomplish while Mr. Infantry was gone.  Some of them were personal goals: Learn how to sew, Read 50 books. Some of them were more career orientated: Start my own photography business, Set-up a shop on Etsy. Of course no list is complete without fitness goals: Work out 5 days a week, Run a 5K.

I have to admit these goals keep me going. I want to feel like I've accomplished something in this year of being apart. I don't want to feel like I sat around feeling sorry for myself and didn't work on myself when I had a perfectly good opportunity to do so.

Have you ladies set goals for yourself since you got married? If so, what are some of them?

Here are my Post It Notes for this Tuesday:

All you'll need to do is CREATE them is click the link HERE  (wigflip.com) , save them to your computer and then upload them as jpgs to your blog post when you are finished. How cool is that?

What would your post it note say? If you do choose to create your own PLEASE leave a comment with the URL to your post so we can see it!

One expression that I’ve adopted from his family is, “Too many notes.” In the movie “Amadeus”, the Emperor is critiquing on of Mozart’s pieces, and he explains to the great composer that the piece is excellent, but that there are just “too many notes.” None of the notes are bad, or even unimportant, but there are simply too many of them. So when we’re feeling overscheduled, even if everything on our schedule is important and worthwhile, and it’s time to cut out something that we’d really like to do, one of us will say, “too many notes” and immediately the other one knows exactly why we have to turn something down.

An example from my side comes from when a dear friend of mine was doing graduate studies at seminary. She was taking a theology course, and frequently one of the other students (or the professor) would take a tiny point of theology that in her mind was basic and simple and irrefutable, and make it unnecessarily complicated and contentious, and in her frustration she would blurt out, “I just want to love Jesus!” So whenever I feel like something that should be simple and easy is spiraling out of control and becoming way more complicated than it ought to be, I tell H, “I just want to love Jesus!” and he knows exactly what I mean.

It’s kind of like having in-jokes, or a secret language that no-one else knows. It makes a special bond for us, since each little expression reminds us of our shared history and experiences. So what secret shorthand do you and your sweetheart have?

The art of wedding photography is beyond having the right equipment - it's an expression of the soul of the artist, seeing the beauty of the ordinary and the exquisite, capturing the perfect angle, the perfect expression at the precise moment.

Jessica Claire is that artist. She is a photographer living out her dreams in Orange County, California helping others capture and celebrate life in Style.

While her specialty is weddings, I couldn't resist sharing this one....

When H and I were first married, we were both working full time, so we shared cooking duties. Sometimes I’d make dinner, sometimes he would, and sometimes we’d do it together. But once I was staying home full-time, I took over cooking most of the time. As I’ve mentioned before, my cooking tends to be a bit more homestyle comfort food, while H’s cooking (and taste) tends more toward the gourmet. But every now and then, I like to make something a little more special for my sweetheart. So the other night I told H that I wanted to make him an extra-nice dinner, and asked if he had any particular requests. He admitted he’d been having a hankering for veal parmesan, so I promised him veal parmesan for dinner the next night.

Well, the next day rolled around and when H came home from work, I got out my recipe and started prepping my ingredients. H got out the veal and began flattening it with the meat hammer. Oh, I thought, he knows I have a hard time with that because of the arthritis in my hands. How sweet of him. But then the next thing I knew he was nudging me aside and telling me to go make the garlic bread. Um, excuse me, I’m the one cooking here! And before we knew it things had escalated into a full-blown argument.

And the ridiculous thing is that I was trying to do something nice for him by making him a special dinner after a long day of work, and he was trying to do something nice for me by taking over the cooking because he felt bad that I end up doing it most of the time. I guess we both need to work on accepting nice gestures from the other as graciously as we try to offer them to each other.

Don’t worry, we kissed and made up. We always do.

So what's the guy about to get married do? Where can he go if he just needs to know things that....well, just a man needs to know? Introducing The Plunge - unconventional wisdom for the guy about to get engaged or married. Everything he needs to know - and then some!

Here's what the men from The Plunge have to say:

In an industry that is wholly focused on the bride, The Plunge addresses the needs of the other half of the equation. With advice written for men by men, it comes with our Pledge:

We will never:

• Treat you like an idiot.
• Pretend wedding planning is fun.
• Give a damn about florists.
• Insult your relationship. Wedding planning sucks. Marriage itself (probably) doesn't

From the Ask the Expert section he can find out what to do in situations such as "The Proposal: How Do You Surprise When She's Expecting It?" to "The 10 Commandments of Popping the Question".

So he's made it through the ceremony and now...on to the reception. BUT WAIT - before you find yourselves in a sticky situation read How to Control Frank the Tank. What situation? This one:

How does free beer and a friend who drinks too much work? I'm confused, I have a friend that is going to be in the wedding party. Is there any way to limit the amount of beer he drinks. He gets drunk and rather stupid. I know that if he screws something up, makes some stupid speech, spills a drink on my new wife. She is going to take it out on me. Please help!!

A must read (yeah...you'll want to make sure your guy reads this one): Wedding Night Sex - 10 Rules.  It's good!

So ladies, help your guy out before he takes...the plunge!

I posted this recipe on my blog and knew I had to share this with you all as well!  Enjoy!

I make homemade empanadas (because I'm awesome like that).  But, they are a lot of work when making them, especially the sealing of the darn empanada.  I made the mistake mentioned to the hubs one day that I would make them every day if he found something that will seal the empanada with one touch and cut my prepping time by 70%.  (Disclaimer: I did not think something like this was created, hence why I said I would make them everyday.)  What did the hubs do?  Two seconds later he whipped out his blackberry and went to his eBay app and found a glorious empanada invention made just for empanadas and bought it right then and there.  Amazing how technology works these days.   A few days later, the glorious empanada inventions arrived.  Did I make the empanadas the day after? No.  Week after? No. Month after? No.  Which I will hold my ground by saying that I would probably kill us with fat clogging our arteries if I actually made them everyday so whatever. 

But yesterday I decided to make them.  And the invention is the most freaking awesome thing ever created!  So, I thought I would share with you all my empanada cooking extravaganza.  And guess what?  I'll also share the recipe too!  Now, I don't do that whole one teaspoon here of this and cup of that... so, it's called just eyeballing it and seasoning it to your liking.  OK, so here it goes people.  Save this recipe as "Mrs. Newlywed Giggle's Awesome Empanada Recipe That Will Rock Your Husband's Tummy"  Got it?  Good.  Let's begin.

 "Mrs. Newlywed Giggle's Awesome Empanada Recipe That Will Rock Your Husband's Tummy"
FILLING
You can use any kind of ground meat (turkey, chicken, beef) I use beef because it's awesome and I love it.
Season the meat to your liking. (I use some Adobo, low sodium; garlic powder and some oregano) Eyeball it people.  It doesn't have to be down to a science.
Brown the meat in a skillet.  I pour in a small can of tomato sauce and let it simmer for another 2 minutes after the meat is browned.  You can also add some green olives.  I don't because the hubs has a major "yuck" factor to them.

PASTRY
I buy the "discos" as they are called (which are also round pastry dough circles that you can find in the freezer that some people use for apple turnovers).  I like to buy the Goya Discos which work the best. Most IMPORTANT step -> DEFROST the discos entirely so they are doughy feeling.

PREP
Take out the glorious empanada invention.  If you don't have one of these, you simply place a spoonful of filling in the middle of the pastry.  Fold it over and use a fork to go around the edges and press down firmly to seal both sides together.  Photos to help with visual:

The day after we got home this is what it looked like:

We do travel quite a bit and not all of our destinations are sunny, white sand, umbrella drink locations. My husband is a speaker on the subject of "Peace and Reconcilliation" and is often asked to present at conferences across the country and outside the USA...yep, we were actually on a work trip to the Caribbean. That was such a sacrifice to go to that one - ha! But we've also gone to some....shall we say....less than scenic locations. And while the view may not be as breath-taking, the mission is always the same....sharing a message of Peace and Reconcilliation.

Kind of a daunting task - finding the places where people of diversity can come together in peace. But isn't this the very thing we are married couples do every day? In the midst of our very hectic lives where we are busier than ever, peace doesn't always prevail. In fact,we can feel smothered in anything but peace.

The point is - no one agrees on everything....not even you and your spouse. Some days are sunny and fun and others are cold and you may even feel 'snowed in'. But are we looking for the disconnects or focusing on finding peace?

As they say....into every life a little rain must fall.....if it turns to snow....build a snowman....together! :-)

Think about it: All the vows above are promises of how you will behave toward your spouse. To love him, cherish him, honor him. But what about making yourself worthy of being loved, cherished, and honored by him? That is as much of a statement of love as any other pledge you can make.

It's also one of the most difficult promises to fulfill. When you come home after a rough day of being chewed out by your boss, barely missing having a fender bender after sitting in traffic for an hour, and then realizing you forgot to mail your overdue credit card bill, it's not that easy to be lovable. I can come home after a day like that and love and honor my husband, but I'll be muttering angrily under my breath, bursting into tears and most likely snapping his head off when he asks how my day was. NOT very lovable.

So as H & I approach our second wedding anniversary, I plan to mentally renew my vows to him. I promise to love, honor, and cherish him - and to try to make it easier for him to love, honor, and cherish me. Till death do us part!

Hmmmm.....interesting statistics in that article like this: Research findings suggest that playing together in jointly-shared leisure activities significantly enhances marital satisfaction for couples who have been married five years or less and for couples married eighteen or more years.

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My hubby and I LOVE games. We both grew up in game playing families but we're both kind of competitive by nature. So we've definitely learned a lot about each other playing games. And not just board games although one of our favorite is Scrabble.

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Here we are enjoying a friendly game of ping-pong:

We both turn into animals and there is no crying in ping-pong even when it's a fight to the death!! :-)

And how cute is this little wedding couple who apparently take their play time together very seriously.

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So what about you....do think couples who play together stay together?

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Love Everyday is on a blog tour! This week, it’s my turn to share with you the section I contributed called 'What is a Spiritual Relationship with Your Spouse?'. The e-book version offers 26 other great posts for you to enjoy.

 Last Week: In case you missed it, "Pour Love on Your Spouse" was posted by Lori Lowe at Life Gems 4 Marriage.

What you are about to read is only one piece of a 27-page collaborative e-book written to help you learn how to make your marriage extraordinary amidst the chaos of life.  After reading this post, be sure to download a complete copy of LOVE EVERYDAY absolutely free!

What is a Spiritual Relationship with your Spouse?

"Going to church doesn't make you a spiritual person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

I love that saying, but what in the world does that have to do with marriage?

Why, thank you for asking!

What if we approached our marriage relationship the way many approach their spiritual relationship with God - with a 'check list' mentality that might look something like this:

1.     Attend Sunday School (check)

2.     Give money - minimum 10% mandatory (check)

3.     Wear the proper church attire (check)

4.     Carry a Bible (check)

5.     Say a prayer (check)

"There - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - DONE!  What a fine spiritual person I am."

Now, let's apply this to marriage:

1.     Wear my wedding ring (check)

2.     Don't cheat on my spouse (check)

3.     Say 'I love you' (check)

4.     Have sex on a 'regular' basis (check??)

5.     Keep the in-laws at bay (check)

We would all probably look at those lists and think...'that's absurd, no one would do that'. It seems almost silly because it's so obvious but sometimes we all need to step back from our daily routines and look at the obvious a little more closely - with intention and awareness as if each of these relationships are sacred....because, they are.

Wearing a wedding ring and following a 'to do' list doesn't constitute a meaningful marriage relationship any more than showing up at a building on a particular day (Sunday) and going through the rituals ensures you'll enjoy the richness of a spiritual relationship with  God.  In fact, it will pretty much guarantee just the opposite in both scenarios - resentment over time and an empty relationship based on obligation.

Thanks to constant media overload, most of us have probably heard of the many high-profile personalities who have left their marriages because they have found (as they publicly proclaim) their "true soul mate".  What do you think they mean by that? More often than not, it's because this new someone made them 'feel so good'.

So let's recap.... if I can't experience a spiritual relationship through my 'doing' and it isn't tied to my 'feeling good' then what is it? How can we connect to our partner on the deepest level...the spirit?

Knowing God, or your higher power, is so personal, so unique, that no one can define it. To some, it is experienced in silence...to others through song or dance. To one man or woman awareness comes through suffering and another through the gift of life. This is the un-nameable power of Love....of God...of the Universal Spirit that gives us life....individually and collectively.

This is the power of the deepest love...the unique spiritual connection that is beyond definition that allows a man and a woman to experience life beyond doing or feeling.  So when the body begins to weaken and youthful appearance fades but you still can't wait to 'spoon' each night....and when you kiss the cheek of the one with whom you shared this experience we call life before they close the lid on the coffin, you know that the love you share is never gone because spirit never dies. This is the essence a spiritual relationship.

Just as a relationship with God evolves through different forms of expression - noticing the beautiful details of the world around us in spite of perceived chaos, truly observing the infinite blessings we each have, stopping to say 'thank you', spending time together in prayer and meditation, or coming together with like-minded people to share our faith, a spiritual relationship with our spouse is formed the very same way...through intention, appreciation, awareness and communication. Pretty awesome!

But just so there's no confusion...this doesn't mean you shouldn't remember her birthday....or tell her she's pretty....or watch the Superbowl with him....or give him an extended back rub...or tell her you love her.....or surprise her with a trip to the beach...'I'm just sayin''...... ♥ ♥

Next week be sure to check out: "Grocery Shopping" by Chelle Stein of "It Might Be Love".

LIME FASCINATION

1 can evaporated milk, chilled in fridge overnight
1 (3 oz.) pkg lime jello
2 c. hot water
1 c. sugar
1/4 c. lime juice
2 tsp. lemon juice
green food coloring
2 c. chocolate cookie crumbs (plain chocolate or Oreo-type; you can also crumble a pre-made chocolate pie crust)
1/2 c. melted butter

Dissolve jello in hot water then chill in fridge until it's the consistency of egg whites. Whip with electric mixer till fluffy. Stir in sugar, juices, and a few drops of food coloring. Whip chilled milk till fluffy and fold into jello mixture. Mix chocolate crumbs with melted butter and press into a 9x13" pan, setting aside 1/4 cup. Pour jello/milk mixture into crust and sprinkle remaining crumbs on top (or use chocolate jimmies). Chill till set.

And we didn't date for 5 years before we got engaged, or for 4, or 3, or 2, or even a reasonable 1. Nope, I had a ring on my finger 3-1/2 months after our first meeting.

Nor did we have a long engagement. I didn't spend a year an a half, or a year, or even six months planning my wedding. I pulled it together in another 3-1/2 months. That's right, only 7 short months before we got married, we didn't even know the other existed.

Now, I wouldn't recommend this route to just anyone. I fact, I would NOT recommend it to just about everyone. But it did work for us, and I wouldn't change a thing about how we met or how our relationship progressed.

So what is there about your relationship that works for you but might not work for everyone else? Tell us what's unique and special about you and your sweetie!

A well-matched couple fills in each other's missing pieces. A spender, alone, will spend him- or herself into debt. A saver, alone, will have no life. A free spirit, alone, will have ideas but never carry them out. An organizer, alone, will spend all his or her time making charts and will never get anything done. A neatnik will spend all his or her time cleaning up and a slob will never be able to find anything. It's the balance of two opposites that often makes a couple so exciting. (Or at least, so functional.)

I find this to be very true in my marriage. I enjoy people, but would be much less social if H weren't such an extrovert. H would spend a lot more time just organizing his stuff if I weren't in the background encouraging him to just use it already. I remind him now and then that we don't need to buy everything interesting we see on amazon.com; he encourages me to splurge on myself every now and then.

The bottom line is that we complement each other. Like the yin-yang symbol itself, we fill in each other's missing pieces. Even though we are both complete in ourselves, we make a whole that is truly greater than the sum of our parts.

VEAL (OR CHICKEN) PICCATA

1 lb veal (or 4 boneless chicken breasts), pounded thin

2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

1/3 cup flour

Salt and pepper

4 Tbsp olive oil

4 Tbsp butter

1/2 cup chicken stock or dry white wine

3 Tbsp lemon juice

1/4 cup brined capers

1/4 cup fresh chopped parsley (optional)

Mix together the flour, salt, pepper, and grated Parmesan. Rinse the meat in water. Dredge the pieces thoroughly in the flour mixture until well coated.

Heat olive oil and 2 tablespoons of butter in a large skillet on medium high heat. Add meat, brown well on each side, about 3 minutes per side. Remove the meat from the pan and reserve to a plate. Cover with aluminum foil and keep warm in the oven while you prepare the sauce.

Add the chicken stock (or white wine), lemon juice, and capers to the pan. Use a spatula to scrape up the browned bits. Reduce the sauce by half (3-5 minutes). Whisk in the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter. Plate the veal and serve with the sauce poured over the chicken. Sprinkle with parsley, if desired.

Most of us have heard of The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I have to admit, I haven't read it yet but I've read a lot about it. It's on my must-read list.

But I speak another language - I speak Movie - my native dialect is  "movie" but I picked up some TV slang along the way. Like "How You Doin'?"....I picked that up from Wendy Williams, whom I had never even heard of until I was watching "The Soup". I get my news from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and I get my Hollywood gossip fix from The Soup. Joel McHale from The Soup L-O-V-E-S to slam Wendy Williams relentlessly so I thought I would at least check out her show to see if she is, indeed, as bizarre as Joel makes her out to be. She is. And yet...I find myself slchlepping her suddenly famous phrase around all day.

"How you doin'?" I ask the my husband first thing in the morning. He looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. The words he gets....the body move and the accent? Not so much. He makes no comment but assumes I'm speaking "Movie". And I don't bother to explain.

I tell him I've made our airline reservations for our trip next week. I ask 'what extra items do we need to pack for this trip'? He says, in his Al Pacino voice "take the gun, leave the cannoli". We have a few seconds of akward starring at which I point I realize....he also speaks 'movie'. All men speak 'Godfather'.

It's kind of sexy. So I 'make him an offer he can't refuse'. And we both speak THAT language quite fluently!

There are so many parts to the decision. Yellow or white gold? Or platinum or titanium instead? Solitaire or multiple stones? High setting or low? Antique style or contemporary? How many carats? Round, brilliant, marquis, emerald, or princess cut? Traditional white diamond? Or pink or yellow or chocolate? Or not a diamond at all, but a ruby or sapphire or opal or emerald? Family or estate diamond or new? If it's a handed-down ring, keep the setting or change it? Do you want it engraved? If so, what should it say and in what font? No wonder so many grooms-to-be get confused.

But the good news for all those grooms out there is that if the man is right, the ring will be right no matter what!

Then in the morning the hubby calls me at work and tells me that he came into the bedroom to change into his lounge pants and said that I had the phone charging  on his pillow.  

His words exactly, "as if I wasn't coming to bed and the phone replaced me.".  Ha! 

In my defense, at least the phone charger kept me company until the hubby finally came to bed.  I am obsessed do LOVE my crackberry blackberry to death.  But I guess I have reached a whole new level with my blackberry.  I guess if my blackberry is my new hubs, I'm going to have to change the color from pink to blue.  It only makes sense.

This beautiful mellow yellow inspiration board was created by the lovely Laura Sheffield of Little White Book from the United Kingdom.

Photo credits: pew ends weddingwire, candy jars via budgetwedding.com, drinks lindemanweddings, cupcakes fancie, wedding favours via stylemepretty.com. yellow roses brides.com, bride Bruce Oldfield, wedding bouquet via Kugab, pedestal arrangement projectwedding.com, bridesmaid davids bridal, polka dot shoes modern vintage bride, wedding cake realsimple.com.

Bright yellow and pale yellow bridesmaids dresses surround the bride in a feeling of warmth and happiness.

photo source Bridal Wave via Little White Book

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Of course, the invitations....

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And....reception decor

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Yellow just makes me happy!!

I'm assuming. That's not nice, I know. So let's just say the compromise is just at my house...between me and my non-Red Carpet, anti-Oscar-hoopla-lovin' hubby. But I like it....and he likes me.....so he tolerates the three hour plus star-studded television fest and even gives an obligatory (although not genuine) ooh and ahhh now and then to show me he's 'in the game'. He does this because he knows I know March Madness is here! And I'll be 'in the game' for The Big Dance. See? I know sports lingo....and he likes that!

Ok - so here's something that everyone will enjoy whether you're having an actual Oscar Party or it's just the two of you. My mom made this for a Super Bowl party and it is DELICIOUS~!

Example, yesterday he started to pace around from the couch to the closet door and back and forth and back and forth. Then he starts pacing around the coffee table and starts to look at stuff on the coffee table. He also paced himself over to the door and checked the locks and then proceeded to look out the peephole. Mind you, we live on the second floor and our door goes out to the stair hallway. If somebody was outside our door, we would have heard the downstairs door slam shut (because our walls are thin as a piece of paper) and the footsteps coming up the stairs. So we would have had plenty of indication if a person was standing in front of our door. But that didn't matter to the hubby yesterday, he just went over to the door and looked out the peephole. Maybe he wanted to make sure there was no mass murderer waiting on the top step for the right time to attack? Maybe he heard the downstairs door slam, then footsteps coming up the steps and a knock at our door? (which is not the case because I would have heard all of that noise too). Or maybe it's just because when he talks on the phone he gets distracted and starts to do the most random stuff ever while he paces the whole apartment? I'm going to go with the last one.

But seriously, I don't get the pacing. At least I can sneak in some kisses when he's in this "pacing trance" of his. :)

Today, a bride has endless options of what to do with her name. Many brides, especially those who marry after establishing a professional reputation under their maiden name, opt to keep their own name. Anne Smith marries James Parker but remains Anne Smith. But what about when little ones come along? Will they be little Johnny and Janie Parker or little Johnny and Janie Smith? Johnny and Janie Parker-Smith? Johnny and Janie Smith-Parker? And what if the bride opts to use her maiden name professionally but go by her husband's name socially? Her library card may be Anne Parker, but is her driver's license Anne Parker or Anne Smith? What about her bank account? Her tax return? It all gets very complicated.

And then we have the issue of remarriages. A friend of mine had established both a professional and an avocational reputation under her ex-husband's last name (Jones), so she wanted to keep that name. But her ex-husband was a cad who got her into legal and financial trouble, so she wanted to change her name. But her new husband is Jewish and has a very traditionally Jewish last name (let's say it's Cohen) that sounded odd with her very Gentile first name (we'll call her Colleen), so she wanted to keep her name. But it would mean a lot to her new husband for her to take his name, so she wanted to change it. In the end, she opted to take her husband's name but use her ex's name as well, and goes by Colleen Jones Cohen.

And then there are always a few creative types who come up with unusual solutions all their own. I have friends from college, Mary McGillicuddy and Joe Brown, who had a novel solution to the whole name dilemma. Instead of just the bride changing or hyphenating or otherwise messing with her name, the bride and groom combined both names and legally became Mary and Joe McBrown.

I was (and am) proud to bear my husband's name. I like my original middle name, so I kept that and dropped my maiden name. Anyone to whom my maiden name means anything knows what it is anyway. The only place I still use my maiden name is on Facebook, so old friends can find me. But my last name is my married name, period. That's my choice, and I don't fault anyone who chooses otherwise.

So how did YOU (or will you) choose to solve the name dilemma?

Nothing worse than that awkward silence that fills a room when the party just isn't happening like you had envisioned. People stare and the floor and then someone says...'Did I really just hear a cricket?'

STOP! Before you take one more step in planning your reception, find your DJ!

yep...that's Joel

I've had the pleasure of being at some rockin', fun, energy-packed parties with Atlanta DJ, Joel Rabe of Lethal Rhythms and I can assure you there was never a dull moment when he was at the mic.

He's been labeled "the must have Spin-Doctor for 2010." Winner of multiple awards and featured professional on Grace Ormonde's Platinum List, The Bridal Bar, Best of the Best 2010 and more, Joel is a passionate professional and Artist who will whip up some serious dance floor energy, creating an event around your Style, Taste and Vision. And....he's even cooler than Vanilla Ice...what what??

The team of Lethal Rhythms serves Atlanta and the Southeast. Give them a call and let them custom design your perfect event.