She Just Got Married Blog
The saying goes like this..."Every new beginning is some beginning's end".
And so it is with this chapter of "She Just Got Married".
I'll be taking the site down soon. It's been a wonderful ride. I've been so blessed to be a part of so many new beginnings. I've been a part of your wedding days, your anniversaries and even the births of some precious babies. All virtually, of course. That's the amazing gift of the internet. We can share so much of our lives with each other. And it's been simply magical - being a part of your story, sharing the journey of newlywed women across the world.
Thank you for being a part of it all.
So what's next? Well, I hope to have a new site up soon after the first of the year. No more trying to 'do it all'. I want to focus on what has been my heart's desire all along....encouraging newlywed women and being encouraged in return. We're in this together!
So... no more "She Just Got Married" Boutique.
No more Forum (there's just so much cyber chatting one can do!)
No more biting off more than I can chew! I know marriage - and that is where I'll center the new site.
Does that seem arrogant to say "I know marriage?" I don't think so. I do! I know the highs and I know the lows. And at the core I still believe that if you don't love yourself you can't love another. When you do and you have a partner who does as well (loves himself) then together you can take on whatever the world has to offer - those highs and lows I referred to. With that in mind, I will continue to use the concept of "Discovering YOU After 'I Do'". I like how it sounds but I love what it implies. There's a lot to learn as a newly married woman. A lot!
As many of you know I lost my sister in law this past summer. She took her own life. My world was shattered as she was my closest friend where I am living now. I grew up with only brothers and I always called her 'the sister I never wanted'. It was true - I never wanted a sister while I was growing up. But then I 'got' her. And she was, indeed, the sister I never had...the one I thought I never wanted.
Why would I share this with you? What does this have to do with saying 'good-bye' to a website?
I thought I was helping her through a very difficult part of her life....divorce. The end of a 30 year marriage. Her own biological sisters told me, at one time during the process, that there was no way she could get through this without me - that she had found a new strength in herself with me by her side.
It wasn't enough. It was years too late. And I felt guilty.
I don't share this with you to get sympathy. I'm moving past the sense of guilt and even the anger. I am still very sad. But I've had many days and nights to consider what, if anything, I have to share from this day on that would be of value to newlywed women. If I couldn't even help my 'sister' - how could I have anything worthwhile to share with women I don't even know personally? And my answer came through my husband and my own marriage. I see it in action every day and I truly believe learning and living who I am as a woman, a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter and friend is a life journey that begins with loving myself.
We'll never know what all led to the tragic decision to end her life. She had been involved in an accident 4 years ago where she incurred head trauma. I want, even need, to believe that was a big part of it. But I do know, because she shared intimately with me, that she was terrified at the thought of being alone. Not living on her own but living as a woman, separate and apart from the role of someone's wife.
Do I have all the answers? Of course not. So I hope you'll come along on this next chapter of the journey so together we can strengthen and empower each other to live love-centered lives.
There are some fabulous specialty sites out there that can help a bride to be. Here are a few of my favorites:
Emmaline Bride (the wedding guide for the handmade bride)
Recycled Bride (a free marketplace to recycle everything from wedding gowns to table decorations)
The Broke-ass Bride (the ultimate DIY inspiration)
Bravo Bride (buy or sell new and pre-owned wedding items)
Sharon Naylor Wedding Books (author of over 30 wedding planning books)
The Man Registry (hey...the groom has his list too!)
Style Me Pretty (beautiful luxurious wedding inspiration)
Southern Weddings (oh darlin'...it's just simply fabulous Southern inspiration)
Sweet Sensations (just because I love Sharon Alexander who has been a true encouragement to me by just being her sweet self).
Here's to happily ever after!
P.S. I took away the ability to comment due to a flood of spam. But I'd love to hear from you with any suggestions you have so shoot me an email at Denee@shejustgotmarried.com
Guest Post written by:
Jennifer Fernicola Ronay
A funny thing happened on the way back from the altar - or, in H and my case, the outdoor gazebo. I've been married almost a year and it seems that almost since our wedding day, I've been subjected to comments of this variety ~
We'll be going to your baby shower next!
You've got to start making babies.
You're in your 30's. You'll be lucky to get pregnant now.
Isn't if and when I have children H and my business? So, why can't people leave me alone and stop trying to shove me into a locker filled with binkies and boppies (whatever the hell those are)?
I've come up with three possible reasons ~
1/ It comes from a good place - some people are so filled with joy over parenting that they just want others to experience that joy too.
2/ But I'm smart enough (and old enough, as some people like to point directly at my eggs and remind me) to know that it could also be that misery loves company. Just saying.
3/ Though, I think a third possible reason could exist - it's the 'life affirming' factor. It works like this ~ Mary really wants you to want what Mary has. It makes Mary feel better. As long as Mary thinks other people want what Mary has, it reassures Mary that Mary made the right decisions in life, after all, and Mary can feel good about that ... at least for a moment.
But, Mary, with your little lamb, please! It shouldn't work like that. If you're truly happy, you don't have to push your life and your choices on anyone else, you don't have to convince anyone to do what you did, you can just accept your friends and loved ones as they are, no matter what their decisions, you're just happy that they're happy. Is that so hard? ... Never mind. Please don't steal my lunch money.
Today, I am grateful ~
1/ that I live in an age where I have control over whether or not to reproduce
2/ that my mom
3/ and my true friends are not amongst those pushing me into a corner with a baby carriage.
Anyway, maybe this is all meant to prepare me for the future in case I do decide to have a baby and then must face the biggest strong-armers of them all ... the breastfeeding bullies.
♥ Follow Jennifer in her blog for ChicagoNow.com entitled "Stop and Blog the Roses".
Jennifer is a Lawyer and CPA turned writer/reporter/blogger. Read her story - it's a good one and pretty darn inspiring!
YIKES!!! This girl truly has her hands full as a newlywed woman with her new MIL and she's asking for help!
Ok, I'm new to this site simply because i'm about to go crazy if I don't get some advice on this topic. Lets start by saying that my mother-in-law is getting married as soon as my husband gets home from deployment about 1000 miles far from us and we are going to her wedding. Well point is i'm freaking out! I'm having nervous attacks, because ever since i've been married to my husband she has been "rude" to me and it seems like she tries to compete with me for my husband's attention!
Some examples would be.. When he rubs my shoulders she will bat her eyes at him and make a comment like "why do her shoulders get rubbed and not mine?" I feel like screaming "because i"m his wife and he loves me God forbid he rubs my shoulders!"
Or another time I made a nice dinner set the table and all and I marinated the chicken in Dr. Pepper (which you cannot taste) she refused to eat my dinner I made her. One time I called her to vent about one of our arguements and somewho the topic got brought of of cheating and I told her, "I would never ever cheat on my husband" and she said "yeah well thats wat michelle said too". Michelle is my husband's brother's ex-wife.
Another time was when we went to go visit my brother in law to meet our new niece for the first time and my mother in law has met her several times and she shouts out " I get to see Taylor first and hold and play with her before anyone gets to because i'm her grandma!" (in a rude manner).
I'm just fed up with her rude remarks towards me. I feel like she doesn't accept me and it hurts because more then anything I would love to be close with her. I am very respectful and nice to her but that doesn't work. I'm starting to feel resentful towards her. I also get bugged because she never ever calls my husband not even on holidays to check on him. He's been deployed 3 months and she has not called me once! I don't know what to do! Any suggestions?
We Interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast to bring You....
You may be wondering if we fell off the face of the earth? And the answer is yes, we kind of did.
At least the earth as it used to spin for us. Our days used to be mostly 'normal' - often even predictable. But mundane? Never! Of course not.....we were newlyweds so you know what that means.....Days of endless romance culminated in nights of steamy, hot sex'. Every night. We'd have to stop just long enough to eat and go to work but other than that....
In the real world we have been living and learning. Married life has definitely been the trip of a lifetime....a journey of discovery and growth. We will celebrate our 3rd anniversary next week. WOW!
And now...our little family of two has grown. So - where have we been?
Are we still ROCKIN' it?
Oh Yeah....but now it has a little added meaning!
I had an idea for a movie that is so funny (in my mind). In fact, I pitched it to a friend who is kind of 'in the biz'. And even though he laughed at the appropriate times I could tell he just couldn't see what I was seeing inside my own brain.
So - since I don't plan on pursuing my screen writing career (nor will I open the pie kitchen I've thought about and I most likely will never be a stand-up comic much to the relief of my family) I will share the basic idea of my movie with you. It goes like this:
A woman goes on vacation to Mexico. She has her handy 'English to Spanish' dictionary and a few years of college Spanish to get her through. She's in the airport trying to gather her luggage. She drops her purse and the contents spill out. A friendly airport security officer comes over to help her at which point she quickly scans her memory to try to speak Spanish to him.
She somewhat dramatically puts her hand on her forehead and tries to say 'I'm embarrassed' but her Spanish is a bit rusty and instead of using the correct word, "avergonzado", she says:
"Soy embarazadas" - which means "I'm PREGNANT".
The kind officer begins to motion for other officers to come over and help him. They have a brief conversation, in Spanish, naturally, where he informs his fellow security officers that the woman is pregnant. Immediately one of them grabs a chair from a nearby restaurant, rushes over with the chair and carefully eases her into it.
At this point she realizes she is missing a piece of luggage. She looks around frantically and says "Paleta, Paleta" trying to say "Suitcase". But the word for suitcase is actually "MALETA".
Paleta means Popsicle.
The officers think she's getting sick and since she's pregnant, naturally she needs some kind of ice cream. And while she is flattered that the people of Mexico are so welcoming and kind she is also very confused.
I'll stop there with the movie scene. But it is funny, right? Well....in my mind it is.
And therein lies the point. So many times what we mean to say comes out completely different from the way we intend. What might sound like a compliment can actually come out all wrong and be taken very offensively.
How many times have you had a 'discussion' with your husband and the words just get all jumbled. One of you ends up saying:
"That's not what I meant at all!!"
There's a reason the woman in my movie took her English to Spanish translation dictionary with her but in her moment of frenzy she didn't stop to make sure what she meant to say was actually what she said.
My mom used to always say "think before you speak". It took a few years and several arguments with my husband to appreciate this advice. I get it now. Thanks, Mom!