She Just Got Married Blog
I was reading an advice column the other day in which a woman had sent in a letter saying that her boyfriend kept remarking how different she was from his usual physical “type” (she was a short, slender blonde and he was attracted to tall, voluptuous brunettes). She felt rather insulted by his comments and wondered if she was making a big deal out of nothing. I don’t recall what the columnist’s advice was, but it made me think about what I had always expected my husband to be like versus what he turned out to be.
I got married at age 39, so my idea of the “ideal man” changed quite a bit through my single years. When I was in high school, I had crushes on the quiet, bookish types with nice smiles, and I was rather partial to redheads. When I got into college, I learned to appreciate men with a little more confidence and charisma, but I was still more interested in the introverts than the louder, outgoing guys I knew. (The jocks and party boys were so far down on the list they had their own list.) As for looks, I preferred dark hair and a somewhat slight build, and had a definite preference for casual, almost sloppy clothes and jeans. When I reached adulthood, I had less interest in any particular physical type (other than "must have great hair"), but I continued my preference for quiet introverts in jeans and sweatshirts. (Which may explain why I didn’t get married until I was almost 40. How can an introvert meet another introvert when we’re all sitting at home reading “War and Peace”?)
But somehow, I found my perfect match in a tall, solidly-built, impeccably-dressed, balding blond who is one of the most outgoing people I have ever met, almost never wears jeans, and is a jock and a frat boy to boot. Never at any stage of my life would I have described my perfect man as the man I married. And yet, he is perfect for me in every way. His extroversion brings me out of my shell, and my introversion tones down his sometimes intimidating boisterousness a bit. His penchant for dressing up has brightened up my sometimes sloppy and careless wardrobe, and my casual nature has taught him it’s okay to wear a wrinkled shirt sometimes. His athletic nature pushes me to keep in shape, and my lack of athletic stamina reminds him to stop and enjoy the view for a bit instead of merely charging to the top of the mountain.
Looking back at the men I would have chosen for myself years ago, I shudder to think of what those marriages would have been like. And I’m thrilled that I went out on a limb and let myself love someone so unexpected. I’m not sure how I fit in to my husband’s image of the perfect woman (I’m certainly VERY different from his ex-wife), but I suspect I’m not exactly what he pictured for himself, either. And I’m pretty sure he’s just as happy with the unexpected as I am.
Hm, that probably wasn't the romantic picture you expected. It's a lot more fun than what you expected, though, isn't it?
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