She Just Got Married Blog
Love is the most important thing when you’re planning your marriage. But when you’re planning your wedding, another L word suddenly becomes the most important thing: Lists.
I’ve known of weddings where the bride didn’t wear a white gown. I’ve known of weddings where the bride didn’t process down the aisle. I’ve known of weddings where there was no exchange of rings, no attendants, no music, no dancing, no alcohol, even no food. But I’ve never heard of a wedding that was planned with no lists.
When you plan your wedding, you’ll find yourself making lists of everything imaginable. You’ll have lists of dates: when the deposit for the hall is due, when the caterers need the final guest count, when the invitations should be mailed, when the men need to pick up their tuxes, when your final dress fitting is scheduled, when the RSVPs are due. You’ll have lists of vendors: the photographer, the videographer, the function room manager, the caterer, the florist, the officiant, the bridal salon consultant, the limousine service. You’ll have lists of things you need to buy, tasks you need to do, people you need to call, questions you need to ask. You’ll have lists of people: the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, the people who’ve RSVP’d, the people who haven’t RSVP’d, the people who have to be in the formal family photos, the people who need special meals at the reception, the people who under NO circumstances should be seated at the same table at the reception. You’ll have lists of questions: will dendrobium orchids still be in season, can the seamstress add a panel to the bridesmaid dress of your college roommate who just announced that she’ll be 7-1/2 months pregnant at the wedding, can the caterer provide a vegan meal for your third cousin’s second wife, does the band know a three-quarter arrangement of “The Anniversary Waltz” for your parents to dance to? You’ll even find yourself making lists of lists.
By the time you’re making the list of the minute-by-minute happenings of the reception (1:23pm, photos on the grand staircase; 1:37pm, champagne toast by Best Man; 1:41pm, salad course served), you’ll be ready to add “burn all these lists” to one of your lists. But a few well-thought-out lists will save you hours of time and keep your thoughts organized and on track. At the beginning of the planning process, a list gives you a framework of the major tasks you need to get done and the order you need to do them in. And at the end of the planning process, they help your overwhelmed brain keep those last details from falling through the cracks.
Also, having lists of what you need to do can be a huge help when your mom or your friends or your groom notice that you’re looking a bit frazzled and ask, “What can I do to help?” Just pull out a list, and voila! There are all the tasks that need doing right there in black and white. You don’t have to think, just point, and your mom will call Aunt Matilda to remind her that she offered to lend you her triple string of pearls, or your groom will call and request that the limo arrive half an hour earlier, or your BFF will schedule your mani-pedi for the afternoon before the wedding.
Just be sure that every once in a while your list includes “sit back and relax for a few minutes”, and you’ll be just fine.
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Here I am sitting on my 2nd wedding anniversary, your words resonate so much with me. You are blessed to have someone sit with you and wipe your tears.
Great post! Sure could ease some tension having those lists available to pass out to friends and family wanting to help!
I...am....exhausted just reading this!! I laughed at one of your list items about those who under NO circumstance should be seated at the same table. SO TRUE (and may be why some people just elope!). :-)
Great post, great title!!
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